


For you know I love you with all my soul

by dolphinaaaa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 2014 Winter Olympics, Angst, Cheating, Drama, Ice Skater Louis, Ice Skating, Light BDSM, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Olympics, Smut, Unconditional Love, figure skating, ice skater harry, pair skating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-02
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 13:53:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1552802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolphinaaaa/pseuds/dolphinaaaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis began to ice skate when he was 4 at the Doncaster dome under his mother's worried supervision. 20 years later he is world champion of pair figure skating with his partner and wife Eleanor Calder. They are on their way to their ultimate goal: the Olympic gold. Nobody seems to be able to stop them.</p>
<p>Yet a new young and fresh couple comes to the circuit. They are training under the same coach. And Louis has to admit, they are good, they are really good. But it isn't Louis' main problem. His main problem seems to be the young man in this new pair, the self-confident, teasing and diabolically gorgeous Harry Styles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For you know I love you with all my soul

**Author's Note:**

> This is a figure skating AU loosely based on the very dramatic story of Russian ice dancers Pasha Grishuk (who was skating with Evgeny Platov) and Alexander Zhulin (who was skating and married with Maya Usova).
> 
> Harry is Pasha, Louis is Sacha. They are pair skaters instead of ice dancers because idk, I prefer. Also it is nowadays and not in the 90s and they are English of course.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, that was a hell of a writing (write?) for me :)

"Come on Louis! Lottie! We have to go! We are gonna be late!" Jay Tomlinson shouted from the front door. She had her daughter's sport bag in one hand and her car keys in the other. It was Thursday evening and she had to drive her eight year old daughter to the ice rink for her skating lesson. Both Lottie and Louis rushed down the stairs, the young girl in her gym clothes and her little brother in his Superman outfit. Louis got it for his 4th birthday two weeks before and had refused to dress in anything else ever since. The mother pushed them out of the door and the kids ran to the car. She locked the door and took her place at the wheel to drive to the Doncaster dome.

"Why do I have to come?" little Louis whined. "Ice skating is for girls!" he added unhappily.

"Your babysitter couldn't come today Lou. I told you already!" his mum replied for the thousandth time of the day. "You can just sit with me and watch. It is going to be fine. It is really pretty, what they do. You might like it!"

"Noooooooo!" the small boy whined again. "Why can't I go to Stan's?"

"Come on Louis don't be a baby!" the woman replied exasperated. "It is only two hours and I will buy you ice cream at the stand".

Louis didn't say anything after that but pouted the rest of the trip. He didn't want to go to the ice rink and see his sister and other stupid girls do stupid ballet moves on ice. It was just so lame. He would much rather play football or go to Stan's place to play with pokemon cards or with his friend's new remote controlled helicopter. Stan always had the best toys!

When they arrived at the ice rink, Lottie ran to the lockers to meet her friends and get ready and Jay dragged her still pouty son to the small cafe at the side of the rink. She ordered a drink and a big bowl of chocolate ice cream for Louis. They sat at a table at the end of the rink and watched the skaters smoothly sliding on the ice. Older and more experience skaters where still finishing their training before Lottie's class would take the rink. Louis only came once before, to see his sister's end of the year gala. He had disliked it so much. Their music was bad, a lot of Lottie's friends fell and the overall choreography was just so bad that Louis wondered why even all those girls bothered to come and train every week.

But these older skaters, that was so different! They were going so fast on the ice and doing crazy tricks. One boy took momentum, jumped and span in the air before landing on one foot, like it was nothing and he was just walking down the street. Another girl span on the ice and managed to put her foot above her head in a sanity defying position before stopping and going to laugh with her friend like it was nothing. But what took all of Louis' attention was this couple. They were skating together, holding hands and just going around the rink super fast. At one moment, the man turned around, skating backwards and facing the girl. He took her in his arms and lifted her above his head before spinning on himself, while the girl hit a split position in the air. He put her down on the ice and a few seconds later threw her with all his strength. Louis gasped. The girl did two revolutions and landed back on the ice graciously.

Louis was mesmerised. These people were so cool. Their moves were incredible. Jay watched him smirking.

"You see Lou, it is not that bad! Quite impressive hey?"

Louis had to agree it was not that bad at all. He nodded, eating his ice cream without letting the couple out of his sight. Their synchronisation was mind-blowing. It seemed they knew exactly what to do and when, without even talking. They did a few other figures and then the alarm rang and all the skater left the ice. Lottie, her friends and her coach went in and began to skate around. Louis lost interest pretty quickly. Unlike the couple or the boy before, these girls were not gracious. They couldn't do any tricks and just practised turning around endlessly, half of them falling in the process. 

He finished his ice cream, still thinking about the couple and how the guy lifted the girl so easily. How they did intricate steps in complete sync, how their jumped were so effortless and beautiful.

"I wanna try!" Louis blurted out to his mum without warning. "I want to skate!" he repeated.

"Maybe we can go this weekend during public hours ok?" his mother said between amused and a bit worried. "We could rent skates and a helmet and you can try. I am sure Lottie would be glat to show you".

"No I want to try now!" Louis said beginning to pout.

"Awww, Lou you can't try now. The girls are training and the rink is closed for everyone else right now" 

"I can skate with them. They are really bad anyways." he added with his arms crossed on his chest.

This made Jay laugh. "They are not bad Lou. It is a really difficult sport". She was smiling at her endearingly stubborn little son.

"Well I am sure I could do better than them" Louis said like it was evident. 

The girls' coach was on their side of the rink, her back to them. She suddenly turned around. 

"You want to try little one?" she asked with an amused smile.

"Oh excuse us Natalia" Jay said a bit embarrassed. "Louis here is just his little annoying self".

"Yes I want to try!" Louis replied at the same time and the coach smiled brighter.

"I don't see why not" she just said. Then watching at Jay "do you mind?"

"Oh he is... really young and small, and you know he ... I don't know" Jay said. Louis was only four but he also had always been really small and frail for his age and it made his mother overprotect him a bit too much sometimes.

"It is not a problem" the woman said. "It is even better! So when he falls, he falls from lower" she added with a laugh.

"Why do you talk funny?" Louis asked matter of factly.

Jay tensed next to him and glared at her son. 

"She doesn't talk funny Louis! She has an accent because she is not from England!" his mother told him with a slightly angry tone. "Excuse us really" she then said to the coach, but the woman brushed it off laughing. 

" I am from Russia. You know where it is?" the coach asked Louis. He had no idea. But he had seen this cartoon on tv and one of the children in it was from Russia and was wearing a big fur coat and a huge hat because apparently it was really cold over there. 

"Yes you have lots of ice there" Louis just replied. He wanted to impress the woman. "Is it why you like skating?"

She watched him a bit surprised. "Yes, yes probably that is why". She left them, skated to the other side of the rink and spoke with a man before coming back. "If you want to try, you have to go see that man" she pointed at the guy she just talked to "he will give you skates" and she went off to her group to give them new instructions. 

Jay and Louis argued a bit. His mother was still very worried that Louis would hurt himself, like the time he played football with kids from his school and twisted his ankle. He had to wear an ankle strap for three weeks after that. Jay had to give in before Louis' determination though.

"Ok, ok you can try." She finally said. "But you have to wear a helmet and pads for your knees". They got up and went to find the man Natalia had told them.

When Louis put an unsure foot on the ice, he was surprised by the feeling. That was really slippery! He had to cling on the board to stay on his feet. And he finally let go off it, he fell on the hard and cold surface. Louis frowned. That wasn't what he wanted at all. He wanted to do the tricks like the boy or the couple before. Not be a lame mope like his sister and her friends. He got up determined and tried to skate again. When he fell the second time , he got up quickly, more and more decided to improve. 

Natalia just leaned again the board and watched the small superman skate, fall, get up and skate again. She was pensive. She didn't know why, she had a feeling about this kid. She could see it on his face, the stubborn determination, nearly anger, to stay on his feet. She could see it in his moves, impressive for a first timer. She smiled to herself. Maybe this small kid in his superhero outfit was what she was waiting for.

"Please rise for the national anthem of your champions"

Louis was flying, flying very high above the rink, very high above the podium, where his physical form stood on the higher march. Eleanor was a his side, eyes moist and knuckles white around her bouquet. Their eyes meet and she gave him a dazzling smile. He watched on his right side to the Chinese pair and on the left to the Russian one. They were both smiling, holding their medals for the hundreds of flashes blinding them. They both were great pairs, fantastic skaters. But he beat them. He was the champion. The world champion. Again. For the second time. When he turned his head a bit more, he saw Natalia at the side of the rink, next to the other coaches and officials. She was swiping her cheeks quickly and probably would never admit, even under torture, that she had shed a few tears. 

He watched in a daze the Union Jack slowly rising in front of them, unable to sing the God save the Queen along the music, his throat too tight and his mind too far away. Then that was a tornado of drug test, press conference, autograph signings with the fans. Finally he was in his hotel room. He let himself fall on the bed, his gold medal still around his neck. Its weight on his chest, the feeling of the cold metal against his skin, reminding him that he was the world champion. He was the best pair skater in the world. 

After this day at the Doncaster dome with his mum and sister, Louis had continued to skate. Natalia had soon booked him for private lessons with her once a week, then twice then every day. She knew Louis' parents where from the working class and couldn't afford to pay her, so she never asked. When he was ten, she paired him with a girl of his age, Eleanor, who had just moved from Manchester. The girl wasn't as naturally skilled as Louis, but she was still a good promising skater. She also had a natural grace and magnetism that made forget her weaknesses. And she was as determined as the young boy, a damn hard worker. The partnership worked. They instantly clicked, and if they were great separately, they were just _something else_ together. 

Louis and Eleanor were always together. At school, at practice, at Eleanor's house to do their homework or just daydream together about skating. They were prodigies, winning Regionals at 14 in front of much older and more experienced couples. At 15 they were junior national champions, at 16 national champions and junior world champions. Then they took the senior international circuit by storm. European and World medallists before becoming European champs at 20 and world champs at 22. And they were again this year. The Olympics, their ultimate goal were in two years and they seemed unstoppable. Two year years before in Vancouver, they finished third. But now they were a lot stronger and experts around the world couldn't think of any couple able to beat them if they skated the way they did for the past two years.

Louis thought about Eleanor, his partner, his wife. She was so cute on the podium, trying to fight her tears of joy. And then she had been so funny and endearing at the press conference, charming the whole room of journalists out of their pants. Not that they really needed to. They already were the discipline favourites and Britain's sweethearts. So young and talented and in love. Their wedding one year ago had made national news. He wished Eleanor was with him right now. But she was in her own room, probably taking a shower. It was a habit they never lost, even after they got together. During competitions, they booked separate rooms at their hotel because they needed to be alone to concentrate completely on the event and on their goal. He heard a knock on his door and rushed to open, finding himself face to face with Natalia.

"Louis, you need to shower and change." the coach told him disapprovingly. "The gala dinner is in two hours."

Louis didn't say anything and just hugged her, a little bit overwhelmed. Natalia truly was his second mother. During these 18 years of skating, since this day at the dome, he probably had spent more time with her than with Jay. And he owed her everything. All of his career. Besides the free coaching, she had also paid for their skates and costumes. When they were at regional and then national level, she drove them to competitions every weekends, sorting out the hotels and paying for the food and gas. She went with Louis and Eleanor to meet the principal of their school to get them a personalised timetable so they had their whole afternoons free for training. She applied for government grants for them, she forced the skating federation to support them with more money. She found them a sponsor to get free equipment. Thanks to her influence as a former champion, she got them the best choreographers and they got to work with some of the most renowned coaches during the off seasons. She truly was the mastermind behind their success. And now seeing her at his door, Louis just couldn't let go of her.

"Come on Lou don't be a child" the woman said in her annoyed but loving tone. This tone that she used so much on him because she was a tough woman but loved him like a son. She rubbed his back a few times and then forcibly removed Louis' arms from around her shoulders. "Go shower now!"

After the worlds, they got a week off. That was so weird for Louis and he just didn't know what to do. Skating was all his life, everything he did revolved around skating. He just found himself going to the gym and going jogging twice more than usual. He though it was a bit pathetic that he couldn't think of anything else to do than still train during his holidays. But yeah. That was just the truth, he didn't care about anything else. Eleanor left for the weekend to visit her grand parents in Manchester and Louis just couldn't resist. On Sunday morning he went to the dome. He didn't dare to skate, because what would he look like? A world champion skating and showing off at a public session! That was ridiculous. So he just sat at the café, the exact same table he sat with his mum all those years ago. He ordered a tea and watched the skaters. There were families going slowly, holding their little kids tightly. There were older kamikaze kids, slaloming around everyone. There were a few older couples, waltzing lovingly. They probably came here often because their moves were gracious and assured. Louis wondered if they would do the same in forty or fifty years with Eleanor.  
A few people recognised him and he had to talk politely with them and sign a few autographs.

After their holidays, they went back to training. They were in April and it was the off season, they had no competitions until the next grand prix events that began in September. But they had a couple of shows scheduled in Europe and Asia. Even if he was made for competition, Louis liked shows. He especially liked going to Asia because the fans there were crazy. Figure skating was a relatively new sport there and countries like Japan, China or South Korea were now excelling and producing countless of new talented stars. He also liked to hang out with other skaters. They understood each other, they had the same passion and the same life. He liked to be part of this community. Louis had never managed to make any friends outside of the skating world because of that. Basically, if skating was not your life, Louis wasn't interested. Show were also what permitted them to pay the bills. Now that they were successful, they insisted to pay Natalia of course. She had first refused, saying that the classes she still gave at the dome when she wasn't training them were providing her with enough. She ultimately gave in when she saw they wouldn't. Louis was also helping to support his mother, who had two other children with his dad before they divorced. 

The tour went well. As usual, they always received a slightly warmer applause than other skaters, and every time they had to perform a bis. At the end of the Asian tour, they headed back to Doncaster, where they would now train intensively during the summer, to built there programs for the next season. During the tour, Eleanor and him had listened to a lot of musics, debating which theme they could do this year. El wanted to choose a really classic theme, maybe Swan lake or Romeo and Juliet. Louis wasn't so keen. He thought those were overused and wanted to do something original. At their return, Natalia made the final decision. Like Eleanor, she thought they were ready for a classic theme. Their free program would be Swan lake, a mix of the Tchaikovsky ballet and the music from the Black swan movie. For the short program, they decided to do something modern, as Louis wanted and chose an instrumental version of an Evanescence song. 

But the choice of their new music wasn't the most important information that day. The coach informed them that she had taken two new students, a young pair, that was extremely promising. Louis and Eleanor didn't think much about it. Natalia, while she was always more focused on them had coached a few other teams over the years and was at the moment coaching three other younger couples at junior level. 

"No you don't understand." the coach said. "They truly are fantastic. They could be serious competitors for you, maybe even this year".

"Why did you accept to coach them if we are gonna be in direct competition?" Eleanor asked, a bit saddened.

"Because I am a coach and I want the best skaters" she said shrugging. "If I didn't take them, someone else would coach them and they still would be competition to you, the exact same. But I would have only one strong team. Now I have two. Besides", she added with a small smile "I think that training alongside each other will push both of your teams and make you even stronger."

They silently nodded. Even if they didn't like the idea of training with such an allegedly dangerous pair for them, they didn't have much choice. And they still trusted their coach. 

"I expect good atmosphere, camaraderie and complete sportsmanship from everyone" Natalia then said in her most serious tone, a bit threatening. "You fight on the ice but not outside. I want no diva shit, no drama. Let work and talent speak. On my side, I promise to treat you exactly like I did before. No favouritism, I will be as involved as before and completely behind you. If you feel there is a problem, come and talk to me immediately. Ok?"

They agreed again, this time a bit more reassured. 

"And where are they this new team?" Louis finally said. "Who are they do we know them?"

"Harry Styles and Louise Teasdale" she simply said. "They are in the dance studio."

Styles and Teasdale weren't unknown to Louis and Eleanor. They had never met them but it was common knowledge the pair was slaying in juniors a couple of years ago. Some journalists even labelled them the new Tomlinson/Calder team. Then, they had to take some time off. For an injury or something. And they had not been around in the circuit for at least two years.

"Oh so they are back from injury?" Eleanor asked.

"Yes." Natalia said. "They have been training again for most of this year and they are aiming to go back to competition this season. It will also be their first year in the senior circuit. They had a huge fight with their coaching team in Cheshire and asked me to take them."

They headed to the dance studio for warm-ups. That was there that they usually created and perfected most of their moves, especially the lifts, before trying them on ice. Since they had to create two new programs from scratch, plus exhibition programs for the season, they would spend quite a lot of time in the room during the next few weeks. When they entered the studio, Louis just froze. From what he recalled, Harry Styles was a cute kid with very white skin, baby fat and a curly mope of hair. So who was this tall lean man, with broad shoulders and golden skin doing pliés at the barre? And... what the fuck was he wearing? What were this bright yellow shorts? Was someone actually allowed to wear such short and fitted clothes? Louis didn't think so. It should be forbidden, he decided with himself.

He must have been staring for quite a long time, with his mouth opened in a small o, because the man looked at him straight in the eyes and then giggled a little bit. Yes he giggled. And his face lighted up and his curls bounced a bit around his forehead. Louis decided that again, that shouldn't be allowed. He managed to pinch himself and get out of his trance. Eleanor looked at him weirdly, asking him quietly what the fuck he was doing. Natalia introduced them. They shook hand in a relatively uncomfortable silence. Louise, who was a bit shorter than Louis with very blond, nearly white hair shyly said that they were their idols. It made everyone relax a bit. Harry, yes the man in the indecent shorts was Harry -two years had apparently made him grow by twenty centimetres and become a Greek god (wait what?!)- kept watching Louis, trying to catch his eyes. He had a cheeky little smile on his face and kept biting and licking his lips. Gracious god, why was Louis noticing this? What was happening? 

Natalia didn't let him try to sort out his internal turmoil and pushed them towards the barre so they began their warm-up.

The training session was a nightmare for Louis. Every time Harry bent, squatted, moved, his tinny shorts fitted dangerously around his little muscular bum and Louis just couldn't look away. Couldn't concentrate. Couldn't do anything. Then when they began to sweat and Harry took his sweater off, staying only in a very loose tank top, Louis experienced problems breathing. Now every time Harry moved, he was getting closer and closer to a nip slip. That was just unbearable. Louis wanted to scream, or pass out. Why was nobody else bothered? Why was nobody else seeing this? And why was _he_ bothered? What was happening to him?

Natalia asked Louis and Eleanor to get on one side of the room and train with their lasso lift. Since he was a child, Louis had grown a lot of course. But he remained quite short for a male and Eleanor was actually the same size as him. They turned what could have been a big handicap in a strength since it gave them a better synchronisation and an unequalled visual harmony, that pairs with a big size difference couldn't match. Lifts still remained their relative weakness though. Of course, lifting a partner of equal size was evidently more difficult than for males who had "pocket partners" has they called them. Louis was lost in his thoughts. For sure, Harry didn't have any problems to lift Louise. With his broad shoulders and his big biceps. And the strong muscles of his back that he could see flex through the cloth of his top. Once again, Louis was just staring at Harry. Devouring his perfect body with incredulous eyes. Harry, again, caught him staring, and while doing his pirouette, he just closed his eyes, biting his lower lip and throwing his head backwards. Louis could see his abs, his thighs and biceps flexing. Maybe just a little more than necessary. 

He stumbled and nearly dropped Eleanor. The young woman screamed in the air and Louis managed to regain a bit of control, putting her on the floor violently but safely. 

"Louis what the fuck was that?" she asked angrily. "Fucking hell you nearly dropped me! Concentrate! What is the matter with you?!"

Louis didn't say anything, arms dangling along his sides, too lost for words. Natalia came towards them to calm Eleanor down and put them back to work. After what felt like centuries of torture, they finally broke for lunch and headed to the cafeteria on the first floor, that always prepared them special meals. The problem for Louis, was that Harry and Louise came along and after a moment of hesitation came to sit at their table. The two girls made conversation easily and got along pretty well. Harry joined sometimes but Louis just couldn't manage to form a coherent sentence in his head, so he didn't try to talk at all. He just ate really fast and excused himself.

"El I am... going outside for a little bit. I need... air. I don't feel to well. I don't know." She throw him a weird look and he pecked her on the lips before running out.

Once he was outside, Louis could breath a little bit better, feeling the iron weight sliding off his chest slowly. What the fuck was happening? Why was he reacting this way to Harry Styles' presence. And body. Louis had to be real here. Harry's body was doing something to him. And this just dumbfounded him. He had never been attracted to males. Never even spared it a thought even while surrounded by gay men in the ice skating world. He had never been attracted to anyone except Eleanor to be perfectly honest. Since forever, she was the only one he ever wanted to be with. That was just an evidence and he never questioned that. So why now, at 22 was he suddenly unable to handle fucking Harry Styles in his fucking tiny shorts? He was ready to roll on the floor and tear his hair from his head when he heard a small chuckle in his back. He turned around like he was struck by lightning. To be faced with Harry Styles of course.

The young man was leaning nonchalantly on the wall of the building, lighting a smoke. His big hand was sexily wrapped around the cigarette, to protect it and the lighter from the wind. And once again, Louis was lost for words. Of course Harry Styles would smoke. That was not as unusual as one would think, even at their level. Very often at competitions, even at worlds, you would find very stressed skaters having a fag at the back-doors of the buildings. Of course Louis despised that, him who was so utterly and completely dedicated to his sport. He had not had dessert for something like ten years and every year at his birthday, his mum complained that it wasn't easy to put candles on a bowl of fruits and yoghurt. He woke up everyday at 6 o'clock to be able to go running for an hour before they headed to practice and every evening after they came home he did at least a 30 minutes pilates session. But of course Harry Styles was smoking. And he didn't hide at all. He smoked just at the front of the venue, facing the doors, where Natalia could catch him any moment. Louis wondered for a second what she would do and if he would still think Harry was attractive when skinned alive.

Harry smirked, stupid dimples on display and wriggled his eye brows.

"You are alright love?" he asked in a teasing voice.

Louis jumped back a bit as if the younger man had slapped him. He frowned and answered sassily.

"Yes, _love_ , I am good. Just needed a bit of air." He didn't know what Harry was playing at but Louis wasn't going to let him disrespect him. "I am done actually, going inside" he added a bit aggressively. When he passed next to him, Harry caught his arm, stopping him. But when the boy didn't say anything, Louis snapped.

"What was that for?" his tone was full on angry now. Harry was getting on his nerves. The green eyed boy just shrugged but Louis could feel he wasn't as secure and confident as he wanted to look. 

"Sorry" the boy finally said "I... I don't want you to have a wrong impression of me. I want us to start off on the right foot. I do really admire you." Fuck that. He sounded sincere and his eyes looked at Louis full of hope and innocence. How was it the same person than the cocky man from a few minutes before? Louis managed to pat him awkwardly on the shoulder and let out a weak "No that is fine. Thank you. I am sure we will get along". Then he just rushed inside to avoid doing something stupid, like hugging Harry tight and swaying him like a child. Or just maybe kiss him hard against the wall and taste his disgusting smoky lips. 

 

The summer passed agonisingly slow. Everyday was a torture for Louis, watching Harry move next to him at practice. The worst was that even when he didn't see him, he could imagine. Imagine his firm stomach and his strong biceps, the curve of his ass, the clenching of his thighs just before a jump. And he could hear his voice, and his laugh and his pants when he was out of breath after he finished his program. If he concentrated enough, he could even smell Harry. This nice smell of woody aftershave, and citrus shampoo and musk and sweat. But the worst was every time he blinked, he had a flash of green eyes. Deep green eyes. Sometimes playful, sometimes innocent, very often teasing. The thing is Harry and Louis didn't get along that well. They were cordial, exchanged a few polite words at lunch, sometimes waited together outside for their respective partners to get out of the lockers at the end of practice. But that was it, they were not friends, didn't like each other, they just worked together. On the contrary Eleanor and Louise got really close, both delighted to get someone that understood them so well. 

The first time Louis wanked to Harry in the shower, he cried for twenty minutes after he came. The now cold water was running down his body and he just sat, hunched over in the tube, trying to calm his erratic sobs. The worst was it didn't stop there. Soon, he saw a flash of green eyes when he was making love to Eleanor and he caught himself imagining low manly grunts instead of his wife's higher whines. Louis was completely obsessed. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he knew he was obsessed with Harry. His attraction towards him was bordering madness and growing every single day. Thankfully, he managed to hide it better, finding a place in his mind during practice where he was only thinking about skating. Of course, the flashes of green eyes, and soon parted full shiny lips didn't stop. But he could contain himself. Pretend. Pretend he wasn't burning with desire for his rival. Pretend he didn't want to fuck him raw against the rink boards or bent down against the benches in the locker rooms. Louise and Eleanor began to hang out outside of the rink and invited Harry and Louis to join a few times. Harry agreed, not Louis. They stopped to ask after that and Eleanor just concluded Louis didn't like Harry, or didn't want to get too close to their competitors. They were fine. She had no doubts. He managed to retain himself. Ultimately, Louis just wished it was a crush. A very violent and obsessive crush that would fade as abruptly it came. But after three months of their co-training, he just lost hope. His fixation on Harry Styles seemed to be here to stay.

Their work in the dance room was now finished. Their programs were completely constructed and they exclusively trained on ice, first repeating and polishing the elements and going through the full four and a half minutes and then when they were comfortable, adding the emotion, the interpretation. That was Louis' favourite part, when all the technique was in place, work on the artistry, on his connection with El and their interpretation of the music. They were not only skating a competitive program, they were telling a story. The tragic story of a princess changed into a swan, that died of love and despair for a selfish prince. And Louis could relate. He had more love and despair to throw into his skating than he ever could have thought. The intensity of his frustration was turned into magic on the ice. The first time they completed the full routine, Louis could see the questioning and incredulous look Natalia was throwing him. She didn't comment though.

Harry and Louise were skating their short on the Masquerade waltz by Khachaturian and their free on the blues for klook by Eddy Louiss. The first time Louis saw their free program in full, he nearly passed out. He and Eleanor had left the ice, to leave the full rink for their rivals. His knuckles were white, griping the board like he might die if he let go. The sensual music was caressing Harry's body. No, it was coming from him, emanating from his smooth moves, splashing from his limbs. In all his career, Louis had never seen such raw sexual power on the ice. Watching Harry throw his head back, expression completely taken over by the music made Louis blush deeply. Their technical content was weaker, doing only parallel double axels and triple toe/double toe when Louis and El did triple salchows and triple toe/half loop/triple toe. They also did a lot of crossovers, unable to generate speed from their step sequence like Eleanor and him did. But technique be damned. They were mesmerising. Especially Harry. He was just... Louis couldn't even find a word to describe him. He let out a small moan from the bottom of his throat, unable to contain himself further. 

"I know" Eleanor whispered very quietly "fuck they are very good". Louis couldn't tear his gaze from the godly wonder that was Harry Styles in his skating trance. He just nodded very slowly.

"Don't worry Lou" Eleanor added, patting his lower back, "we are better babe. And we have the age advantage. It is gonna be their first season, they have to prove themselves". 

Louis grunted. He was very far away, he wasn't in the physical and mental place to have a conversation with Eleanor right now. She took his silence for worry and patted his back again, going a bit slower to caress his bum. He flinched a bit and she gave him a small slap, before adding with a bemused voice,

"Yes, I know, not during skating".

Grand Prix season came quickly after that. Louis and Eleanor were assigned the Skate Canada and Cup of Russia, Harry and Louise the Cup of China and French Trophy. They didn't have to meet before eventually, the Grand Prix final, if both teams qualified. Travelling, competing, not being in the constant agony of knowing he would see Harry every single day enabled Louis to find back a little sanity. He was less tensed. For the first time in nearly six months, he had the impression to be light and free. He didn't have a large weight pressuring his chest and making each breath difficult. Of course the flashes of green eyes, full lips or v line to die for were still happening, but this Louis could manage. The result of that is they skated superbly, winning both their competition. But Louis interpretation on the Swan Lake routine lacked the demoniac passion that it usually had when Harry was around. They still easily qualified for the final, crushing the competition but Natalia was no fool. She knew something was up with Louis. She would find what. 

Harry and Louise struggled a bit more. In their first competition in two years, they panicked a bit and let nerves take over. They did a few mistakes in both programs but still managed to hang on to the bronze. Their second competition was much better and they won it easily, showing supreme confidence. They qualified for the final as well. The skating world was excited. The competition promised to be a showdown. Both teams were exquisite, in very different styles. Both teams were innovative and fresh and sexy. Both teams were British and coached together by the same coach! That was drama! That was what the skating world liked and craved. 

They didn't let all the hype get to their head and dutifully went back to Doncaster to train. But even with their attempt to disregard the excitement, you could feel the tension at the dome now. Natalia's younger students always seemed to gasp when they saw the two teams together. Their lunch break was quieter, even Louise and Eleanor didn't talk much. And Louis was going crazy. Passion and want were blinding him. To think that Harry was here, just in front of him, that he could touch him if he stretched his arm, that he could feel his soft warm skin and hard muscles... He just couldn't stop staring. Of course, Harry noticed. First, the younger man just met his gaze a few times, frowning a bit, like in a silent question. His looks became more insistent with time. And then the teasing began. The worst part was that Louis wasn't sure if it was real or if he imagined it. If his crazy obsession was making him see things. But Harry was flexing his muscles more, licking his lips at lunch, pushing back his curls with soft noises, grabbing his own biceps and massaging them. He didn't bother to hide at all in the locker room, not only changing in front of Louis but making a show of it. Louis wanked twice a day, like when he was a teenager. He made Eleanor turn around each time, not to have to see her face when he fucked her. And he was rough and desperate and so so angry at himself, at everything. 

Louis turned his spoon in his vanilla yoghurt. He was not hungry. He never was these days, too fucking tensed to be able to ingest food. Louise and Eleanor next to him about their afternoon plans. After practice, they wanted to go to the beautician salon. Louis didn't really listen, too preoccupied in the drops of water that were above Harry's upper lip. Harry was facing him as usual. The noise of the cafeteria surrounded them. Suddenly, Louis felt a small pressure on his right foot, under the table. He froze, head still kind of down, yoghurt and spoon tight in his hands. The pressure increased a bit and then, it began to move. Louis lifted his head up, looking directly at Harry. The young man was cutting his fish, head down, seemingly unaware of anything happening. Louis managed to not bend under the table to make sure he didn't imagine that. But the pressure was now moving along his calves. Louis let out a tiny desperate whine, that was thankfully covered by the noise around. That is when Harry lifted his head up, gaze plunging directly into Louis'. His green eyes were shining with a dangerous glow, a bit darker that usual. _Teasing_. And Harry didn't say anything. Didn't smile. Didn't do anything else that would betray the fact he was playing footsie under the table with Louis who was sat just next to his wife. Louis just watched straight back into his eyes. Dumbfounded and lost for any kind of reaction. But Harry was going up and up, now passed his knee and touching the undersides of his thighs. Louis jerked up, banging against the table with a big crash. His chair fell back and the girls watched him like he was crazy. A few people around also stopped eating to watch curiously. Louis was shaking, now standing up just beside the table, the three other people staring at him.

"I... I am going to grab a fruit" he just said in hurry. His cheeks were burning pink, he knew his semi was getting harder by the second. God he was pathetic. He took a sprint to the bathroom, splashed a lot of water on his face and locked himself in a cubicle, waiting for his hard-on to get down. Of course, thoughts of his grandma's funeral turned into green eyes and he had to jerk off quickly, splashing the wall with his spunk. He didn't return to the cafeteria and just went to the rink, skated slowly on the ice with no purpose, trying to calm down. Natalia, who was on the side with a few young students came to him. 

"Are you alright Louis?" she asked in her motherly tone. He was borderline crying at this point and just pitifully nodded. 

"Yes... I... I couldn't eat. The pressure. I don't know Natalia" he chocked out. Practice restarted and nobody commented on Louis' behaviour. Eleanor just squeezed his hand a bit tighter, looking at him worriedly. 

Louis was spread out on his bed. Eleanor had left with Louise an hour ago. He was just alone with his thoughts and felt so lonely for the first time in so many years. He had never felt lonely. He had his wife, he had his coach and more importantly he had his goal. The Olympic title. He was never lonely because he had that. But tonight, everything was just meaningless. His mobile rang on the night stand and he picked up without checking.

"Lo?" he just grunted. There was just breathing on the other end. "Hello, Louis speaking" he repeated before checking the caller. That was an unknown number. The breathings seemed heavy, raspy, jerky. Finally the person spoke.

"Louis" he said in a low low raspy voice "It's Harry".

Louis didn't say anything back. The voice, the breathing, he was getting hard just from that and let a hand down to palm himself. 

"What? What do you want?" he squeaked in a very unmanly voice.

"Got your number from Louise" Harry said instead of answering the question. And then a few seconds after, he let out a breathy moan. Louis' cock twitched in his hand. Something was wrong here, something was very wrong. Was... was Harry touching himself as well? The thought made him even harder and his hips jerked up on their own accord. Harry was panting now on the other end of the phone and Louis couldn't help it. He let out a high pitch and throbbing moan. Harry responded with small "huh huhs" and there was no doubt at all he was jacking off. All inhibitions right out of the window, Louis put down his boxers enough to grab his dick and stroked quickly. The dry friction made him hiss and Harry let out a pornographic whine. Louis could hear the slap of Harry's skin through the phone. It was so hot. A big spurt of precome fell from his slit and he gathered it, spreading it along his shaft. It made him even more vocal. He let out loud moans, whiny "ah ahs" that seem to snap Harry into very dirty mode. 

"Fuck if I was there" he grunted breathless, "I'd have you on your hands and knees. I would fuck your ass so good. I'd fill you up with my big cock, like you deserve. You'd like that?"

Louis let out a pathetic whine, his hand going faster and faster on his member, squeezing harder.

"You would like that?" Harry repeated threatening and Louis yelled "Yeah please!"

"Of course you would, fucking slut" Harry grunted. His voice was so low and fucked up. Louis imagined hot chocolate sauce dripping from Harry's mouth to enwrap him. "You'd bounce back on my cock, trying to get me deeper" he continued. "I'd put my hand on your back, make you arch and fuck you deep Lou. With long strokes to make you so full. And then I would take your hands and put them behind you back, and I'd push your face down on the mattress and I'd fuck you even harder and faster"

"Harry" Louis whined helplessly.

"And I'd fuck you so hard that the mattress would keep the print for hours" Harry was whispering fast now, voice higher "And you could only take it. Take my cock like a good fucking slut!"

Louis' head was spinning with all the images Harry put in his mind. He was not even jacking off anymore, it was like Harry was there, with him, pounding his ass and cutting his breath. He let out a long whine when he came and heard Harry grunt loud and dirty on the other end. They came down from their height, panting into each other's hears.

"Lou" Harry whispered after a moment, but he didn't get any answer, Louis just hang up.

The phone incident didn't change much at practice. Louis just refused to acknowledge what happened and didn't change his behaviour towards Harry. Maybe he was even more tensed but nothing else. Harry didn't push him. First just watching him with questioning eyes and frowned eyebrows and then just stopping completely. But he teased him more now. Nearly everyday, he played footsie under the lunch table watching Louis crumble in front of him. The older man didn't know how to react, sometimes shoving him away, but more and more just staying still. He couldn't push Harry. It was too hard. He leaned against his touch, body waiting for more attention, for more stolen caresses. Just for more. So Harry began to touch him at other times, brushing against him in the lockers, sometimes gently stroking his side when they were gathered around Natalia for instructions. Louis was restless, completely split between his burning desire and the want to angrily push him away, to harm him. Of course it had to snap. One evening after practice, Eleanor rushed to meet her mum and cousin for a girls night. Louis took longer than usual, deliberately folding his training clothes perfectly, rearranging them in his bag. He took several minutes to take the protective gauze off from around his feet and ankles. He inspected his blades. He just wished that Harry would finish changing and leave before he had too. But of course Harry didn't. He changed quickly and then stayed, watching Louis. His eyes and features were both cocky and sweet and Louis just wanted to chock him on his dick. Finally he finished to pack his stuff and headed for the door quickly, head bent to the floor. Harry just let out in a mocking voice,

"I'll call you tonight then". Louis froze and turned around. He wanted to punch him, he wanted to make him cry in pain.

"No you won't" Louis hissed menacingly. "And you will stop your little game and leave me alone" he said louder, anger pouring out of his tone.

Harry just chuckled, self-satisfaction written all over his face. "My game?" his smug contorted a second to become something more like frustration "My game! Come on Louis, who is playing here? Be a man and admit you want it as much as I do. You want it even more! You can't stop thinking about that evening am I right? AM I RIGHT?" he yelled. "You want my cock and you are too weak to admit it!" he spat disgusted. 

Louis thought he was blind, he jumped on Harry, shoved him to the wall before shaking him, making his back slam against it several times. Harry seemed a bit confused, a bit disoriented. He probably didn't expect that. And he didn't expect Louis, who was so short and small compared to him, manhandling him like that. He regained composure pretty quick though and just smiled at Louis with a ferocious smirk.

"Yeah... you see!" he grunted both in pain and excitation "That is not this hard. You can have me" he then whispered. Their faces were close, body aligned, Harry trapped between Louis and the wall. Something was digging into Harry's right shoulder, maybe an old screw, but he couldn't care less. It was now or never, Harry took a sharp breath and reached behind Louis, letting his hands fall on his ass. He palmed roughly and Louis moaned. It was something small and sad, like he was in agony but it was a moan. Harry launch forward and kissed Louis right on the lips. In fact he didn't kiss him but bit his lips hard, keeping the lower lip in between his teeth. Louis moaned again, this time loud and clear and his hips jerked up against Harry. He could feel Louis' erection against his groin. Harry pressed harder, pushing Louis with his hands on his ass, nearly lifting him from the ground. Louis reacted fast. He took his hands off of him and pinned him to the wall before pushing violently forward against Harry, nearly jumping against his torso. Louis was surprisingly strong. Of course he was, he was a pair skater. Harry weakly tried to fight against Louis' restrain and quickly just gave up, surrendering to his dominance. He could feel all of Louis' aggression and frustration in his desperate snogs. He loved it so much. Both of them were so turned on and so hard it was uncanny.

"Ok big boy" Louis whispered and tugged Harry towards him by his collar, "you want it, you'll get it", he headed towards the shower stalls dragging the younger boy behind him. He pushed him in one of the showers, grabbing Harry's stupid vanilla moisturiser on the way. Harry looked like he was gonna have a stroke. His pupils were blown, his face a pretty shade of pink, his breathing nearly painful. Louis violently turned him around and pushed his face on the wall before parting his legs. His firm butt against Louis crotch felt like heaven. Louis shakily pulled down his zippers and just mindlessly pushed his jeans and pants enough to let out his painful erection. Harry worked his shorts and underwear down as well, letting them fall at his ankles. Louis rutted against him and by the noises Harry did, he was close to death. Louis had a moment of doubt, he didn't know what he was doing. He opened the moisturiser bottle and poured half the content on his palm. He slicked his dick and hissed at the contact on his overheated skin.

"Do I... Do I need to prep you?" he let out in an ensure whisper. 

"Just put it in" Harry grunted "fingered myself thinking of you this morning". Louis lost it completely, propped Harry's butt, arching his back and just sunk to the hilt in Harry's tight heat. They both screamed at that. 

"Fuck" Harry yelled. "Wait two seconds" he needed a moment to get used to the stretch. He was so full, when a second before he was painfully empty. That was just too much. His thighs trembled and thankfully, Louis was maintaining him against the shower wall with all his weight. 

"Can't wait more mate" Louis let out after just a few seconds. He pulled out nearly all the way and sunk back hard, knocking the air out of Harry's lungs. He fucked him hard, the strokes were punishing, desperate, mean, the release from all these months of frustration. 

"Fuck you like that yeah" Louis grunted behind him. He punctuated every word with a hard stroke, going deeper and deeper. Harry couldn't even respond, focusing on breathing. "I am gonna fucking destroy you" the older man said again and Harry could only whine. Louis grabbed his hips, pushing them on his cock at the same time he pounded in Harry's ass. The young man was seeing stars, he had never been taken with such violence and it was the best thing ever. Louis pulled him even more, further from the wall and then pushed his back down, bending him over. Harry was completely helpless, trying to find something to cling at, but the wall was plain, offering nowhere to grab. He settled on resting his palms on the wall, trying to match the other man's strokes. Louis was hitting his prostate dead on and Harry shook harder and harder each time. The older lad let out a joyless laugh and sunk down one more time against it before he stopped moving. The head of his cock was right there, nudged against his prostate and Harry yelled. Louis began to move in circles, staying deep inside him. Harry spread his legs even more. He wanted him to fill him up completely. Hell he wanted his cock to fill his guts, his stomach, his everything. Louis processed to pick up his fast, desperate rhythm again and came a few strokes after. He bit Harry's shoulder hard while painting his insides, his nails sinking into the smooth skin of his hips and pulled out harshly as soon as he came down of his height. Harry whine loud, he was still desperate for release but Louis was just beside him doing nothing. The younger man could feel his spunk flowing out of him and along the inside of his thighs.  
He turned his head around and began to panic when he saw the older man putting himself back in his trousers and zipping them. Was Louis really going to leave him like that, after using him like a slut? His answer came pretty quick when Louis sunk three fingers back in his stretched hole without any warning. He worked them in and out fast, crooking them to get his prostate on every stroke. After a small while he left his fingers inside, just massaging his spot. Harry just let out continuous loud growl, trying to push his ass into Louis' finger even more. The other man put his other hand on his lower belly and just pressed there, to massage him from both sides. Harry came immediately with a strident cry, tears running down on his cheeks. The pleasure waves were the strongest he ever had and he clenched hard on Louis' fingers. The older man kept massaging him through it then pulled out and left the cubicle without any word. Harry fell down on his knees and heard the lockers door swing open and close with a bang. Louis had left. He turned on the shower and just stayed there hunched over on the floor, letting the water calm him down. 

On his way back home, Louis was insanely calm. It was like he wasn't the one who fucked the hell out of Harry a few minutes ago. It was like an out of body experience. He nearly died ran over several times but didn't even notice. 

"Now you have done it" he whispered to himself. "You done it, you got it out of your system and now you can move on. It was just a one time thing" he said louder, scaring an old lady that was next to him at the light stop. "It was a one time thing" he repeated. Even then, he knew it was probably the biggest lie he ever told. 

Louis managed to hold on for a week, despite Harry's constant tease. The young man was more smug and over confident than ever. He showed off at every moment possible, giving Louis self-righteous smirks, eyeing him with provocative stares, mouthing mocking kisses to him at every opportunity. But the worst wasn't his footsie at lunch or his naked toned body in the lockers. No the worst was when he skated. All macho and insolent and just so hot in his short program on the masquerade waltz. The program was a masterpiece as well, including close-hold ballroom and ice dancing elements into a pairs routine. And it wasn't fair because Louise was an exquisite skater as well, but Louis couldn't even tear his eyes off Harry for a second. He didn't portray a young noble Russian general, he was a young noble Russian general. And he was so strong, so broad, just so male and so beautiful. Louis didn't understand. He didn't understand how someone could be as attractive. And how he could be so attracted to this smug asshole. But he was. Every single time when he threw Louise for their triple twist, probably their best element since Louise was nearly parallel to the ice and at 10 000 meters over Harry's head, Louis just gasped. Every. Single. Fucking. Time. The clenching of Harry's muscles, the ways his huge hands grabbed Louise on the way down and smoothly put her back down on the ice. He just couldn't handle it. No matter how much of an ordeal the short program was for Louis, the free skating was even worse. Harry skated his blues in a reckless abandon, more and more bluntly sexual each time. It was quite difficult to watch. But once again, Louis couldn't just tear his eyes away.

"Fucking hell" Eleanor whispered next to Louis. "He missed his career as a poll dancer in a gay club this guy".

It is like Louis was slapped. "How... who do you know he is gay" he asked unsure.

His wife just snorted. "It is hardly a secret is it honey? He even talked about it at lunch a few times, how hooked up with this American single skater at the Cup of China. If you were listening sometimes..." Eleanor continued but Louis wasn't paying attention anymore. Harry had hooked up with someone at the cup of China?! An American skater, who was it? Who was this fucking asshole? The young man was boiling with jealousy now. Harry was just an absolute slut! He bit his tongue hard until he tasted the bitter blood on his buds while glaring at the beautiful wonder that was finishing his program. 

They all headed to their lockers and Louis cornered Harry as soon as the boys locker door was closed. He harshly grabbed his arm, pushing him against the door.

"You hooked up with someone at the cup of China?" Louis asked, voice betraying his hurt. Harry snorted and shrugged Louis off violently. 

"Yeah, you jealous babe?" he asked with his smug tone.

"You're just a fucking slut that is what you are" Louis replied back, boiling with rage. 

"Yeah? Is that what you like then?" Harry said on the same tone. 

Louis just let out all of his frustration and grabbed Harry throat, pressing him against the door again "you don't get to fuck other people ok!" he just whispered. 

Harry smirked again. "I get to fuck whoever I want love". Louis tightened his grip on Harry's throat and instead of fighting back, the young man moaned loudly, teasingly. 

Louis took his hand off like it was burning. They glared at each other for a few seconds and dove on each other at the same time. They snogged dirtily, eating each other's mouth out. Spit was covering the skin all around their face and they didn't part to breath, just panting heavily into their mouths. Louis let his hands down and buried one in Harry's pants. He roughly grabbed his cock and began to squeeze and jerk it as much as the tight undies permitted. Harry rutted against his fist, push himself off the door and turned them around, cornering Louis. It was his turn to be helplessly pressed against the hard surface, unable to move under Harry's weight. The young man took his hand of his pants, fisted both his wrists and pressed them against the wall, on each side of his head. He rutted against Louis' willing body, kissing his jaw and the behind of his ears unexpectedly gently. Louis was close to tears. HE HATED HIM. He hated Harry. This smug, cocky, irresistible bastard. But he loved him as well. So much that sometimes he couldn't breath. 

"You sleep with Eleanor" Harry whispered in his ear and Louis whined.

"She... she is my wife" Louis stuttered weakly. 

"Exactly!" Harry whined back. "And I am no one. No one to you. So I sleep with whoever I want". He didn't say that with his smug tone, not even angrily. That was more sad than anything else to be honest. But that was also soft as if he truly wanted Louis to understand. They locked eyes for a second, Harry still securing Louis hands on the wall. But he caressed his wrists at the same time and Louis closed his eyes, completely giving in to the feeling.

"I... I don't like that. I don't like you sleeping with others" Louis said softly, maybe a bit shamefully. When he opened his eyes, Harry was smirking at him but his eyes were... smiling. Sincerely smiling. 

"You were so much better love, no need to be jealous" he said cheekily and dove to kiss him again. But there was a loud bang at the door. 

"Guys! you ready?" Louise voice shouted from the other side of the wall. "Harry lets hurry, we are gonna miss the bus!" she added. They jerked away from each other and Harry shouted back that they were coming. They rushed to their sport bags and hurriedly changed. Louis tried to rearrange his hair and took deep breaths to calm down. he felt like he had just run a marathon. 

After that, Louis and Harry grew closer. They began to actually talk to each other at lunch and during practice. 

"You see" Eleanor told him one night "It is not that bad to be friends with the competition. They are actually nice. And it is nicer to have a good atmosphere at practice" he held her closer and didn't say anything back. They even began to "hang out" together after practice. Eleanor was happy because Louis didn't really have any friend to hang out, so she thought that was good he found a male friend that he liked. Unfortunately for her, hanging out was synonym to fucking. Once or twice a week, Louis joined Harry at the younger lad's flat and they had rough sex, each time jumping on each other as soon as the door closed. The worst, or the best, depending on how you saw it, was it wasn't only sexual anymore. Louis was catching feelings and he knew it. Yes Harry was a smug bastard that knew perfectly how sexy he was and how much power he had on Louis. But he was also a truly nice young man, caring and fun and gentle. The sex was always dirty and quick and violent, after though, they began to cuddle, being gentler and gentler to each other. Louis just loved it. He loved the fact that he could do literally anything to Harry. That he could be violent and mean and rough, sometimes degrading. And Harry just took it. Loved it. Even asked for more. He also loved that half of the time, Harry was the rough one. He dominated Louis, manhandled him, had him helpless, pliant and obedient, taking everything he wanted without giving Louis the choice. 

The Grand Prix final was held in Japan. They flew out at the beginning of December, one week before the event, to be ready and over any possible jet lag. As usual, Louis and Eleanor checked in separate rooms and that let Harry all liberty to sneak into Louis room every night for a quick fuck and a nice cuddles session. During the day, Louis was panicking. What was he doing? He was breaking all his rules! He had to focus and concentrate on the skating. That is exactly why they always took separate rooms. Every day, he told himself that he would resist that night. He would tell Harry to go back to his room and that they couldn't do it. Of course, every night when he heard the small knocks on his door, he rushed to the door, good resolution long forgotten and dick twitching. 

That was it, today was the day of the short programs. Harry and Louise were skating second and Louis and Eleanor lasts. Since it was the final, there were only the best 6 couples of the season. Louis and Eleanor were backstage, getting ready and concentrating while the other couple skated. They didn't watch them, not even on the small monitor in the room, but from the thunderous applause, they were sure they smashed it. Louis couldn't stop fidgeting, stress and excitation overwhelming. Of course Harry smashed it. He couldn't help but smile a little bit. At the middle of the 5th pair's program, they were called out to go on the side of the rink. Louis and Eleanor grabbed each other's hand, fixing each other with a small smile, like every time before a performance. They heard the applause and he led her to the rink, wasting no time in removing their blade protections. While the others were getting their marks in the kiss ad cry, Louis and Eleanor took a few laps, stretching and making the last adjustments before taking their place in the middle of the rink. At the first note of their music, Louis' mind just went blank and he abandoned himself to it, to the movements, to the skating. Only once they froze on their last pose, Louis' mind came back to life. The entire rink was on their feet. Eleanor was jumping in his arms. That was probably one of their best performance ever. They finished first that day. The next day for the free, they skated even better, getting a free score of 140, setting a new world record at the same time. Harry and Louise came second with two perfect performances as well but some 15 points away from the leaders. Natalia was exulting. Experts from everywhere were impressed, promising an enthralling season. The Nationals came after that with pretty much the same results. The gap between the two couples reduced a bit though. And Harry and Louise improved their scores again at Europeans, where they finished seconds to Louis and Eleanor, but only by four points. 

Meanwhile, Harry and Louis relationship grew crazier, more desperate. Both of them were more demanding, jumping on each other at any opportunity. Louis had the devil inside. When they got one week off for Christmas and New Year, he missed Harry so much that sometimes he was just bent over by physical ache. He needed Harry's body so much it was painful. He fucked Eleanor with rage and frustration. But it wasn't the same. She was sweet and hot and willing. But she couldn't pin Louis to the bed, she didn't have huge hands that could embrace Louis' entire torso. Louis could never be as rough with her either. He couldn't just let himself go, knowing that she would take it. And he felt guilty as well. Guilt was eating him alive. He was cheating on his wife. On this girl he adored. On this girl that trusted him blindly. On this girl that had been everything he had and ever desired before fucking Harry Styles came along. But only one flash of Harry's eyes behind his closed eyelids and he forgot everything and craved Harry's touch, his smell, his smile, his skin, his presence. He knew he was into it too deep. He had no way out. Stopping with Harry was impossible, it would kill him. He was absolutely sure of that. He needed Harry like he needed air. 

The world championships were held in America this year. Los Angeles. Both teams were ready. Louis and Eleanor were so comfortable with their programs, they really were skating better than ever. Given they had won everything so far, they were the super favourites for the competition. That was added pressure of course, but they were used to it, being double world champions already. Once again, the draw designed them for skating last in the short. That wasn't the best position because it meant they had more time to mull over after warm up. They didn't watch anybody's program but knew Harry and Louise as well as a few other couples had skated clean. They had to be perfect if they wanted to take the lead. As usual, when the first notes resounded Louis let the music wash over him and take over. But this time, after there first element -a perfect triple twist- he came back to himself in the middle of the program. That had never happened to him in a long time. Usually, he was just somewhere else for the entire length of his programs. He tried to calm down and not panic. He went into the lift extra carefully and handled it perfectly. Their jump combination was next. They took momentum for the triple toe and just then, Louis saw a flash of green eyes. They were not imagined ones. Harry was there, watching him at the side of the rink. Louis landed the jump sloppily, leaning on the front too much. He still went for the double loop at the end but his centre of gravity wasn't right. He popped the jumped half way through it is landed heavily frontward. He had to put both hands down to avoid falling. Not only had he completely butchered the jump, he had lost all sync with Eleanor and had to hurriedly skate to meet her back and execute the step sequence. They got through it but he wasn't as sharp as usual. His edges and turns were shallower, his moves less definite. He had killed all their chances to take the lead. He had fucked up. He couldn't stop thinking and blaming himself. And why? Because he couldn't handle Harry watching him from the sides? Fuck! Harry was watching him all the time! Every day at practice! Why was today different? They span for the combined spin and Eleanor whispered a small "it is ok Lou" during their position change. This crushed him even more. Of course she wasn't mad. Of course she forgave him immediately because they were a team. For fuck sake, they were married. What was he doing? Tears were threatening to run along his face now. They entered their last element, a backward inside death spiral. Louis just couldn't wait to get out of the rink. That was probably the first time since he began skating that he wanted to be anywhere but on the ice. He changed his position during the spiral but didn't pay enough attention. His left blade caught a previous track on the ice, he tried to regain his balance but Eleanor's weight prevented him to do so. He desperately tried to pick his right foot to stop his fall but Eleanor was dragging him down. They both fell on the cold ice and the stadium gasped in shock. Everyone was stunned. A fall on a death spiral was extremely rare and completely unexpected, especially for world champions. They got up as fast as they could and the public gave them a loud sympathy applause. They saluted still stunned. Louis could feel Harry's presence still on the side of the rink and his piercing stare on his back. He avoided his eyes, avoided to look anywhere close to him actually. They got to the kiss and cry and Eleanor just squeezed his knee. Natalia didn't say anything, just rubbing his shoulder soothingly. Marks came and were whistled a bit by the crowd. They were 8th. It was a disaster. But it was fair. Now except a true catastrophe for everyone else in the free, they had absolutely no shot at the gold. Even making the podium was going to be very difficult. Louis and Eleanor left as soon as they were changed. Since they didn't make the top three, they didn't have to attend the press conference. Natalia, Harry and Louise stayed at the rink longer, as the pair was leading. The ride was short and silent. It wasn't really tensed. Louis knew both mistakes were completely his fault but he also knew Eleanor wasn't blaming him. It was a team sport and every mistake was a team mistake. She soothingly stroked his knee but the sad realisation kept sinking and no one had anything to say. 

"Don't over-think it" she said when they parted to get into their rooms. "see you at dinner" she kissed him just on the corner of the lips. An hour after that, Louis was on his bed, hair still damp from the long shower. He was mindlessly hopping channels on TV and stopped on Eurosport. They were replaying the shorts. He saw his mistakes replayed in slow motion on the small screen. 

"What a shame!" the commentator was saying. "They were so good! So perfect all season! What do you think happened Nicki?" he asked his co presenter. 

"I don't know. Louis wasn't on tonight. He made a stupid mistake on the jump combos and lost his concentration for the rest of the program. You could see he was thinking too much. he never regained his composure and that is what led them to the death spiral fall. That is a shame he wasn't on on the most important competition after being so good all season though. But that is the sport! And now let's watch the leaders, their team-mates Teasdale and Styles." The screen went to show Harry and Louise perfect program. "You know what Nicki?" the presenter said again. "Of course it is a mistake from the favourites that permits them to lead now but they didn't steal it either. All season they were second but they reduced the gap between them at each competition. They put more and more pressure on Calder/Tomlinson and these guys knew they had to be perfect! They couldn't handle the pressure it seems". Louis turned the telly off with a low grunt. He heard a small knock on the door. It was Harry, he knew it. He could recognise his knocks amongst all. He hesitated a few seconds. He didn't want to face Harry. He was too weak, too ashamed, too tired. But Harry knocked again, more insistently. Louis pushed himself off the bed and dragged his body to the door. He half opened it, ready to tell him that he wasn't in the mood right now. But he was faced with a very worried Harry. He looked so soft and adorable and gentle, Louis let out a small whine.

"Lou" he whispered "what happened sweetheart?" he asked and Louis' heart broke. "You are ok? Can I come in?" he asked again even gentler, lifting his hand like he was gonna push back a few of Louis' locks off his eyes." Louis took a step back and Harry's hand fell back a bit defeated. 

"Harry... I think you should go. I want to be alone right now". God, he was so pathetic. His voice was shaking and his eyes tearing up. It was evident he was on the verve of crying. 

"No, come on" Harry said a bit louder and pushed the door and passed Louis to enter the room. Louis stayed at he door, arms dangling along his sides. Harry watched him carefully and sighted loud. He came closer to Louis and closed the door behind him before taking him in his arms and holding him close. Louis was stiff at first but became pliant in a few seconds. Harry was stroking his back and his sides, swaying them from right to left. He pulled Louis closer and brushed his lips to his right temple, staying there and mumbling sweet words. 

"It's ok sweetheart, you are so good. So beautiful. You will do better in the free..." Louis let go completely, lax and pliant into Harry embrace. He also pathetically began to cry. Long, painful sobs. Harry scooped him up and gently placed him on the bed before crawling on top of him. 

"Shhhht Lou, love, you are ok. You are perfect. My baby." He kept kissing his whole face until his sobs calmed down. Harry lovingly wiped his his cheeks, smiling down at him. He looked so beautiful. So open. So so lovely. Louis whined a bit and passed his tongue on his lips. Harry tilted his head down to capture Louis lips and kissed him gently. That was probably the sweeter he'd ever been. Louis pushed him away. He was completely overwhelmed. The words left his mouth before he could even think. 

"Harry, I... I need you to leave please. I... I wanna be alone" he said shyly. Harry watched down at him, so sweetly and a little bit hurt maybe. Louis wanted to cry again. Harry pecked him on the lips another time and whispered, 

"Yes, ok love. I will let you alone. Just... don't beat yourself too much please..." he was nearly pleading and Louis couldn't handle that. He pushed him off him a bit harder. Harry got up and just headed to the door, glancing at him lovingly one last time before leaving. 

The next day was off for them because it was the ladies short and compulsory dance. Louis avoided Harry all day. He didn't speak to him, didn't look at him, even went to extended struggles to actually avoid to be in his presence as much as possible. Harry was trying to grab his attention and looked at him pleadingly during the whole day but there was nothing to do. At night, he knocked on his door with their secret signal but Louis didn't answer. He knocked several times, harder and harder even disturbing the adjacent room - where a middle aged man opened his door and asked him to tone it down- but Louis never answered. Harry fell asleep sad and restless that night. He woke up several times and just couldn't really get any rest. The trip to the rink was tensed and silent, with all of them sharing one of the venue's mini bus. Louis was still avoiding Harry at any cost and the young man was getting more hurt each time. Harry and Louise were skating in the last group of four teams since they were leading. Louis and Eleanor had to skate around one hour, one hour and a half before. They warmed up in silence in the back rooms before just sitting on the floor, continuing to stretch and warm up a bit every few moment. Louis could feel Harry's stare boring in his skin. At one moment he couldn't take it anymore and just violently pushed himself off the floor. 

"Going to the loo" Louis whispered to Eleanor. She nodded mindlessly, watching the early couples skating on the monitor. Louis rushed to the bathroom but Harry was on his trails. He watched right and left that no one was watching and pushed Louis into the handicapped bathroom. The smaller man squeaked, weakly trying to fight against Harry's grip. 

"Am gonna fuck you" he whispered instantly, crashing his face against Louis' and kissing him dirty. He licked inside his mouth, passing his tongue on his teeth, biting anything he could reach. "I am gonna fuck you so maybe you will stop being a fucking bitch" he grunted, voice raspy with want. Louis' body reacted instantly, going lax and pliant. Louis launched himself towards Harry, responding to his kisses, to his every touch. 

"Harry, please" he begged in a desperate whisper. 

Harry flipped him over and bent him over the sink. He rutted his already hard cock against Louis bum, palming and squeezing his cheeks. 

"Your ass is made to take cock Lou" he whispered into his ear. He was bending over him, covering and wrapping his small frame with his broader body. "Made for MY cock" he repeated fiercely. He violently put Louis' jogger and underwear down and slapped his cheek harshly. The full round cheek bounced a bit, the red hand-print appearing quickly on the soft golden skin. He spanked him again harder and Louis pushed back against him, as if he was asking for more. 

"Am gonna fuck all the tension out of you, my little slut" Harry grunted again. He spat on his palm and coated his fingers with the spit. "You gonna feel my cock for days" he whispered threateningly. "You gonna feel my cock when you skate with _her_ today. He hissed again. He buried two fingers deep into Louis' hole and the older lad scream out. Harry pressed his other palm on his mouth to prevent him to do too much noise. He fingered Louis fast, thrusting his fingers deep and scissoring them quickly. He didn't try to pleasure Louis and just wanted to make him ready for his cock as fast as possible. He pulled them out soon. Both knew Louis wasn't really prepared enough. But he couldn't wait. He wanted to feel the pain, the stretch. He wanted it to hurt. He needed it to hurt.

Harry pulled his trousers and pants down and took himself in hand. He gave himself a few tugs and coated his dick with spit before pressing it against Louis waiting hole. Louis gasped feeling the pressure and bit his tongue hard not to scream when Harry penetrated him. He pushed inside slowly in one long stroke. When he was fully inside, he began to fuck him right away, not letting him any time to adjust. He thrust shallowly first and then increased the speed. He kissed Louis' neck before staying there, nosing at the behind of his ear. He pulled out completely before sinking back hard, making Louis' body jolt from the strength. Harry grabbed Louis hair and pulled his head toward him.

"Look at you Lou" he groaned in between strokes. He made him face the mirror and Louis watched himself. Their reflects locked eyes and Harry whined high, increasing speed even more. "Taking my cock so good". He hit his prostate dead on and Louis had to break eye contact, lowering his head and grasping at the corners of the sink for support. Harry pulled his hair back again. 

"Look how beautiful you are!" Harry nearly yelled, taking him with violent strokes. Louis didn't last long and came all over the sink. Some of his sperm splashed on the mirror in front of them and they watched in awe while it ran down along it. Louis clenched hard, shaken with waves of ecstasy. Harry kept going, fucking him even harder, chasing his own release. Louis let him use his body, going completely lax and Harry came a few minutes after, while Louis was now whining with over sensitivity. 

"Out! Out!" he begged and Harry pulled out, painting his cheeks with his spunk. Louis gasped when he felt the hot sperm hit his skin. Harry all but fell on him, letting his whole weight crush Louis against the sink, his face pressed against the back of his neck. 

"My baby" he whispered against his hair. Louis breathed through his mouth heavily, trying to calm down and catch his breath. He pushed himself off the sink and Harry went to the paper towel distributor. Without words, he cleaned Louis' back and bum and whipped the mirror as well. They put their clothes back and readjusted themselves. Louis was ready to leave and put his hand on the handle to unlock the door.

"Hey!" Harry let out, he caught his arm and turned him around before kissing him sweetly. "Good luck love, you are gonna be great" he breathed against his lips. Louis kissed back and nodded once when they parted before opening the door. He hoped Harry could read his love and appreciation in his eyes. Thankfully no one was in the corridor and they went back to the training room like nothing happened. Louis smiled to himself when he felt a slight throbbing pain in his ass while walking. Feeling Harry's cock still in him was strangely soothing and he felt more secure and confident than anytime in these few days. 

"Where were you?" Eleanor asked when he came back.

"I went outside for air a bit" he told her, hoping she didn't notice his slight limp and the blush on his cheeks. 

They skated their free program better than ever before. Louis felt like he was on fire. This time, Harry's presence at the rink side didn't distract him. It encouraged him, it pushed him to surpass himself. Every element was textbook perfect and Louis just throw all of his desperate love for Harry on the ice. He felt he was the dying swan. He let all his guts out there on the ice. The crowd roared when they finished and Eleanor jumped on him, kissing him excitedly. He hugged her and kissed her back hungrily before pulling back. His eyes crossed Harry's glare. The young man was tensed, jaw clenched and his lips stretched in a tight line. Louis felt guilty and tried to tell him he was sorry with his eyes. Harry didn't react. They went to sit in the kiss an cry and jumped at their score. They improved their world record by a point and were in the lead in spite of their horrendous short program. Now they had to wait for the other couples to know their final ranking. But with such a success, they had a shot at a medal after all. Natalia was absolutely ecstatic and kept hugging them, smiling wide. She was so proud of them. They were rushed to the press area and had to talk to different national TVs before going back backstage where they had to take a drug test. When they came back, the last group was half way through and they were still leading. The next couple to skate was Harry and Louise. They began carefully. Harry wasn't sparkling and shining like usual, just going through the motions. Him, usually so expressive, seemed lifeless and robotic. The program wasn't perfect either, with a few minor mistakes from both of them. When they finished, they bowed quickly before reaching the bench for their marks. Scores came... and they were third in the free but their lead from the short enabled them to stay first. In total, they beat Louis and Eleanor by only a few tenths. 

Louis felt Eleanor tense a bit at his side. She had hoped for the miracle until the end. And it nearly happened. On the free, Louis and Eleanor had crushed everyone else. But they had dropped behind too much in the short. They were still very happy and proud of themselves for such a spectacular come back. Harry and Louise were world champions. Louis' heart clenched a bit when hearing the God save the Queen on the podium. This time it wasn't for them. Harry wasn't watching him either and shook his hand very coolly. Despite his triumph, the young man seemed sad and lost and Louis felt horrible. He knew he was responsible for that. His mindless kiss to Eleanor at the end of their program was preventing Harry to enjoy his first world title. That was horrible. But in sick, twisted, selfish way, Louis was happy as well. Harry cared so much for him that his title was secondary. That was a fantastic feeling to have so much power on someone.

Harry didn't speak to him for the rest of the day and for the two days after that. Even during the practices for the gala, that were boring as hell. Even for the skater's closing dinner where they were at the same table. Now that their competition was over, Eleanor slept in his room and he fucked her both drunk on pride for what they had accomplished and drunk on frustration she wasn't Harry. And Harry wasn't talking to him. He wasn't talking to him because he kissed his wife! What the fuck was he supposed to do? What did Harry expect? On the last night before their flight home, El was finishing to pack her bag and Louis was dosing off in front of a shitty movie. They heard a small knock on the door. Louis' heart stopped for a second and he jumped off the bed. It was Harry. Of course it was him. He rushed to open the door and tell him he was with El, but she followed him and they both faced an anxious looking Harry Styles, standing in the corridor. 

"Harry? What... what do you want?" Eleanor asked nicely, a bit surprised. 

The young man seemed crushed for a second before regaining his composure. He sent her his special "Harry Styles smile", all cheeky and diabolically charming. It was fake. Louis knew it was fake but it really seemed sincere. Harry was such a good actor Louis thought to himself. 

"I... I came to see if you... you two" he stressed with a side look at Louis "would like to go and have a drink maybe?".

Eleanor giggled and look at him like he was crazy. "At one o'clock in the morning?" she teased.

"Huh, yeah, we could go downstairs at the hotel bar, closes at 3 I think" he added and he winked at her. 

She smiled back but replied that she was knackered and was going to bed. "What about you Lou? You could go if you want, I don't mind" she said nicely to her husband. Louis didn't know if he wanted to dance in victory or throw up. She was so sweet, she had no idea and she trusted him so much. The weight of his betrayal crushed him again and he nodded once, meeting Harry's eyes briefly.

"Yeah... one drink, why not?" he agreed. Harry smiled bright. 

"Yeah! Lads drink!" he exclaimed and he looked like the cutest child. 

Louis went to grab his hoodie and his key card before following Harry to the lift. As soon as they were inside, Harry jumped on him, pressing him against the mirror and kissing him stupid. Louis knew he missed it, but he had not realise how much he must it until he could taste Harry again. It was like everything was just a bit better. Breathing was easier, thinking was less scary, life was just all around brighter. They pulled away in a rush when they heard the little ding telling them they arrived at the lobby level, where the bar was. Surprisingly the bar was quite crowded with skaters, coaches, officials that were celebrating the end of the championships and mingling one last time before everyone went back to their homes. Everyone was speaking about the upcoming tour shows and the off-season. Neither Harry nor Louis were in the mood to speak to anyone else so they just quickly ordered a drink at the counter before Harry pushed Louis into a booth in a quiet area of the room. They began to drink in silence. Louis took careful small sips of his bloody Mary whereas Harry downed half his pint in a few seconds. When he saw the younger lad wasn't going to talk, Louis decided to go first. 

"Harry, I know you were upset because... Eleanor kissed me after the program. But... I don't know what you expect. She is... my wife..."

"I hated that." Harry cut him abruptly. "It hurt so much when I saw that. I hated you for doing that and I hated her even more" he said and his eyes sparkled. 

"But she is my wife Harry" Louis repeated quietly. "I love her".

Harry shook his head a bit and let out a joyless laugh. "You... you love her!? So... what exactly are you doing with me?" he asked, tears filling his beautiful beautiful eyes. "Why do you... do that with me if you love her so much? What am I to you?" A single tear fell along his cheek and he wiped it angrily. Louis wanted to cry as well. Seeing his beautiful boy so sad made him want to kiss the sadness right out of his face. He wanted him to go back to his smug, infuriatingly charming self. 

"Harry, you... you have no idea how much I like you. How important you are to me. You make me loose my fucking mind. I... I don't think I could survive without you to be honest". Louis was launched now and he wasn't going back. He needed Harry to understand. He needed Harry to stop crying. "But El, she is.. my wife, I love her and she is my childhood sweetheart you know. And my skating partner. I... whatever we have, and it is absolutely amazing, I can't leave her. I can't stop with her." God, said out loud, it was even more pathetic than what it seemed in his head. Harry frowned and screw up his eyes. 

"so you don't wanna stop with her and you don't wanna stop with me" Harry said slowly. Louis could only nod. "Do you love me?" Harry spat out, eyes filling with tears again. He looked angry and distraught but also challenging. Louis swallowed hard. Of course he did. He was crazy for this boy.

"Yes, I love you Harry" he whispered.

"Ok". A few tears fell down of his eyes and he wiped his face again. There was nothing else to tell.

They went back to Doncaster and to their normal daily routine. Harry was always willing and pliant with Louis, but something had definitely changed. Louis knew it, he could feel it in Harry's demeanour, in his kisses, even in the sex. Harry was detached now. He still wanted Louis and still gave him everything but it was just like he didn't need him anymore. Or he pretended so, Louis thought sometimes. Whichever it was, Harry was just less into it. During the Asian show tour, he also hooked up with several people and didn't even hide at all. He hooked up again with the same American skater, with a Russian ice dancer and even with several groupies, boys and girls. He wasn't even rubbing it into Louis' face, like he wanted to make him jealous. This Louis could have handled, it would have meant Harry still cared about him, still slept with these people because of him, in a way. No, he didn't hide because he didn't care. He was just detached and didn't think it was a big deal to sleep with other people. Louis was absolutely boiling with rage and crushed with pain. Every time he saw him blatantly flirt with the whole cast of the show, or when he heard the gossips about Harry's last night exploits, he just felt the weight of the universe on his shoulders. He was getting absolutely insane. If the sex between them was rough and dirty before, it was downright filthy now. Disgusting, animalistic. Louis wanted to hurt Harry. He just wanted to hurt him, make him suffer. And Harry didn't react at all. He took it, he took everything without complaint, as sweet and hot and perfect as ever. After Asia, they came back to Europe and toured Eastern Europe for a bit. They were scheduled to go to America afterwards for a month of shows around the country. 

It was late afternoon and Louis was in his hotel room. Since they were only doing galas, he was sharing with Eleanor. But she had left today and was visiting Kiev with a group of fellow skaters. Louis had declined to go. He wasn't interested. He wasn't interested in anything. He heard Harry's knock on his door and jumped to go open the door. The younger man was wearing very short cutoffs and an ample tank top that let his toned arms free for everyone to drool over. He smirked at Louis and pushed him inside. He was carrying a plastic bag. Louis could tell Harry was feeling dominant today. It was his turn to take it tonight. The young man licked into his mouth while pushing him backwards to the bed. He gently lied him down and wasted no time in taking off Louis' clothes. He found himself completely bare before Harry, whereas the other lad was still fully clothes. He was going to protest when Harry rummaged in his plastic bag and brandished a pair of handcuff, smirking suggestively. Louis' cock twitched and grew harder by the second. He was actually a bit ashamed that it swelled that much, only at the prospect of being tied up and tried to hide himself awkwardly. Harry had nothing of that and dove to snog him again. At the same time, he grabbed his wrists and quickly tied him up to the head of the bed. 

"No Harry!" Louis whined. "El... I don't know when she comes back! Don't tie me up babe, please" he tried to put authority in his voice but failed miserably. Even to his own ears it sounded desperate. The handcuffs were turning him on so much that he actually didn't want Harry to no use them. Harry stayed completely closed, hovering over him and kissing every inch of his body. He licked his nipples until they were red and puffy and trailed down on his pecs and abs and v line before mouthing at his cock and sucking the head of it. He gently bit the foreskin and tugged it a bit, just the way he knew Louis adored. The old man hissed and wriggled and begged Harry for more but the young lad was taking all his time. He kept sending Louis teasing grins and shot him curious looks, as if he wanted to be sure Louis was still on the edge of loosing his mind. Like Louis wasn't always on the edge because of him. He went down even more, parting Louis' legs and folding him in half forcefully. He teased Louis' entrance a bit and then went straight at it. He sank his tongue inside, shaking his head and pushing further to bury it deeper into Louis. He licked at the shivering walls and pulled back before thrusting again inside, opening Louis up. Louis was shaking under him. His thigh were pushed back against the mattress on both sides of his torso, his up in the air for Harry to bury his face in. Louis tried to pull on the handcuffs, needing to grab something for support but he couldn't move at all. Harry was lapping at his rim like a kitten now, sometimes thrusting deep and then just gently licking and biting at the rim.

"Hazza stop it! Stop it please!" he babbled in a haze. "Haz stop!" he repeated higher and more pressing now. 

Harry stopped and watched him, frowning. He was going to ask him why and if he was alright but Louis didn't let him and just stared at him confused and thoroughly fucked.

"Haz, why did you stop? Please, continue please!" he begged trying to wriggle his ass to get any kind of friction. Harry watched him dumbfounded for a second and then burst out laughing.

"Awwww darling" Harry said, caressing Louis' face "Lou baby, you loose your mind when I eat you out?" he cooed. Louis just didn't understand and grunted, wriggling more. 

"What the fuck Harry please!"

Harry laughed again and went back to eating him out, sometimes laughing a bit against Louis rim. Harry stopped again and pulled back to rummage in his plastic bag again. This time, he took out a big 7 inch dildo and shook it a bit in front of Louis' bulging eyes. 

"Oh my god Harry" Louis whined helplessly. 

"You want it Lou? You want me to fuck you with it?" Harry asked with his voice more fucked up than Louis expected. 

"Yes! Yes! Do it!" Louis yelped. Harry slicked the toy with lube and pushed it against Louis rim. He watched how the muscle relaxed against the head of the dildo and all but sucked it up. Harry kept pushing slowly, watching Louis' reaction carefully. When he was sure, the boy under him was comfortable he pushed until the toy was deep in his ass.

"Ahhhh so full" Louis whined. "Wished it was your cock" he added sheepishly and Harry smiled at him brightly. 

"You will get it baby" he said delighted. He grabbed the end of the toy again and pushed harshly on it, making sure it couldn't go deeper. Louis' body jolted with that and he hissed in pain and surprise. Harry began to move the toy back and forth, fucking Louis slowly with it. 

"Ah yeah!" Louis chanted. At every few thrust he whined "yeah again" making really really pornographic moans. Harry struggled to keep his calm with Louis so vocal and so helpless in front of him. He was all his to take. Utterly open and willing. He smiled at Louis' glassy eyes and poked his tongue out. 

"You alright love? because I have a surprise!" Suddenly he turned on the toy and it began to vibrate inside Louis' hole. It was a vibrator. He clenched around it several times and when he relaxed again, Harry went on to fuck him a bit faster, with the now vibrating device. Louis was panting eyes closed, body shaking under the vibrating attacks at his hole. Harry stroked Louis' cock in rhythm and Louis clenched several times, he was gonna come so hard. But suddenly, he felt Harry slide something cold and tight down his shaft. He opened his eyes and watched the young man adjusting a cock ring around him. 

"Haz! What? What are you doing?" he panted anxiously. 

"Nothing love, relax, you gonna love it". His eyes were shining wickedly. His lips were red and puffy from the rim job he had given him. He thrust the vibrator hard one last time, nudging it against Louis' prostate and leaving it there. 

"There you go". Harry got up and walked away from the bed a bit, admiring Louis' shaking body, spread on the mattress. His cock was red and angry against his stomach and kept from coming by the tight ring. The vibrator was buried deep in his ass, only the end pointing out. His thighs were parted wide, his wrists tied up to the metal frame of the bed. He was a work of art really. A masterpiece. 

"I am gonna leave you here for a bit, love. You gonna wait for me like a good slut" he grunted.

"NO! Harry! Stop! You can't! If Eleanor comes back!" Louis yelped, struggling to talk because of the constant assault on his prostate. 

Harry laughed, he really looked like possessed. Crazy with want and crazy with frustration. "What if she comes back? your lovely wife will discover that you like it up the ass my love?"

Louis just whined. "Please no Harry! Please!" But the younger lad just shrugged. He bent over and nudged at Louis' rim that was obscenely stretched around the vibrator. 

"oh! I forgot!" he laughed a bit and turned on the vibrator on the higher intensity. Before staring one last time, taking a long look over Louis. Then he turned around, took the room card on the night stand and left without any other word. 

Louis was left helpless on the mattress. His mind was on overdrive. Not only Eleanor could come back at any moment. But anyone other skater from the show could be with her. Natalia also had a key for his room. What if she decided to pay him a visit. He hated Harry so much! But the dread to be discovered was exciting him even more. He imagined the worst, most humiliating scenarios, getting off on his dreamt shame. The overstimulation on his prostate made him light headed and his dick was so swollen, so hard and so painful that he couldn't even feel it after a while. He could only think about coming now. He needed to come or he was going to die. He bit his lips and his tongue and the inside of his cheeks to prevent himself from simply screaming. His body was covered head to toes with a moist of sweat and he began to cry. That was too much, everything was so much. 

Harry left him one hour there, tied up to the bed and vibrator up his ass. It was a torture as well for the younger guy. He just kept walking in circles in his room. He knew Eleanor was at the cinema and would come only hours later, having texted with Louise beforehand. Natalia was visiting some family that she had in the suburb of Kiev, so he was positive as well she wouldn't show up and find Louis in his compromising position. He switched the TV on and watched an old episode of Friends in Russian. Thankfully, he had seen it before several times and knew what was happening despite not understanding a word. After fifty nine minutes spot on, he left his room hurriedly and rushed back to Louis'. The older man was whining quietly, completely still on the bed. From his red wrists, Harry saw he had probably struggled a lot against the restrains. Louis didn't even turn his head when Harry entered. Harry rushed to the bed and for a second was scared to death. But Louis was breathing little rushed pants. His eyes were glassy and he seemed really, really far away.

Harry took his clothes off and hovered over the smaller boy. He caressed his face, petting his sweaty hair and pushing it back from his forehead. Louis reacted slowly and looked at him dead in the eyes. He was still far away but he knew Harry was there. Harry gently strokes his shivering body and Louis moaned at the touch.

"Haz!" he said, in a wondering voice. "Haz please!" he begged. His face was wet with tears and drool was falling around his lips. Harry kissed him gently and Louis kissed back lazily. Harry tugged at his nipples a bit and Louis body jolted up.

"Huh, Haz please! Fuck me! Make me come! Please!" Louis chanted. The younger boy didn't need much more. He grabbed the vibrator and thrust it in an out a couple of times. Louis basically screamed at that. Harry took it out completely and placed himself quickly at the entrance. Louis' hole was so stretched out and pink and wet. It was so hot, he could see, inside him! He sunk quickly into Louis' welcoming ass and grunted at the feeling. Louis screamed again and closed his eyes, his head falling back heavily on the pillow beside him. Harry fucked him like there was no tomorrow. He folded Louis under him, placing his palms on the back of his thigh for leverage. Louis was crying again.

"Please Haz, I need to come, please" he sobbed pathetically. 

"You come when I want you to" Harry just grunted in between strokes. He violently pulled out and flipped him over on his tummy. Since his wrists were still tied up to the frame, his arms were crossed in an uncomfortable position, handcuffs sinking into his sensitive skin. But Harry didn't care and Louis was too weak to argue. Harry pushed Louis' face onto the pillow, propped his ass up, grabbing his hips harshly and sunk back into his open hole. His quick strokes became sloppy, and he felt his lower belly tighten with the familiar feeling before orgasm. He smoothly removed the cock ring off Louis' dick, thrust twice again and they both came at the same time. Harry grunted low and kept fucking him through the spasms. Louis screamed like he was murdered and painted the sheets with his cum. When Harry released his hips, he fell flat onto the mattress, and Harry didn't even need to pull out, really, Louis just falling off of his cock. Louis was completely spent. He nuzzled against the pillow. He didn't give a shit he was spread out in his own cum. He just needed to sleep. But Harry didn't seem to agree. The younger man sunk back two fingers in his stretched hole and watched in wonder his own cum dripping around his digits. Louis was so tired he just let out a small whine. His whole body was aching and his ass was particularly over-sensitive, and yet Harry was still playing with him. He vaguely hoped his lover would stop after a bit, but it didn't seem likely. Harry began to pump his fingers in and out faster. He added a third one and Louis tried to wriggle away from him. Harry grabbed his hip with his other hand and propped his ass up again. He fisted at his softening cock as well and stroked it harshly until it was back to full hardness. 

"Harry please stop. I can't anymore" Louis whined, face buried against he pillow. 

"Bullshit Louis. You wanted to come so much moments before! I am sure you can come again. You will come again" he added and Louis knew he had a dangerous smile on his face from the tone of his voice. He fingered him quickly, tugging at his member at the same time and Louis came fast and hard for the second time. But Harry wasn't finished with him and implacably replaced his fingers with the vibrator back in his hole. He switched it on and Louis' entire body was shaking with the thing.

"Harry!" he sobbed "no more!"

"Yeah Lous! once more or maybe you prefer if I put back the cock ring and leave you again?" he threatened. Louis' hole clenched involuntarily at that and Harry laughed.

"You dirty dirty slut! Yeah that is what you want eh?" he whispered against Louis' neck. He reached forward and untied the handcuffs from the bed frame. He didn't take them off Louis though and pulled his arms back before tying his wrists again, this time to each other and behind his thighs. Louis was still face down and ass up in the air, with his hands secured under his bum now. Harry's had swollen back to a full hard-on and he just slid the toy off Louis' hole, replacing it with his dick. He was on his feet on the bed and squatting on top of Louis, his dick sinking into him. The position enabled him to go deeper than ever and he pounded relentlessly. Louis' dick was still half hard though so Harry stopped for a minute and stroked until he was hard again. In spite of the pain and the exhaustion, Louis was still rutting in his fist. Finally Louis came first and very quickly, only one small spurt of cum shouting out of his slit. Harry conscientiously squeezed every last drop of his juice before releasing his cock. He went back to Louis' ass and fucked him quick, only focusing on his own pleasure. His orgasm washed over him after a few minutes and he fell down, sitting on the bed behind Louis who was still on his knees, ass in the hair and face into the pillow. He untied him and Louis fell flat on the bed. Harry caressed his back soothingly and turned him over on the side, spooning him carefully. Louis dosed off immediately and napped for 20 minutes before Harry gently shook him awake. 

"Lou, babe", he whispered in his still damp hair. "You should go and take a shower love, I am gonna call the reception for them to come and make your bed."

Louis grunted slowly and turned around, hiding his face into the crook of Harry's neck.

"I am tired and I can't move" he whined sleepily. "I love you" he added very quietly but Harry heard and grinned at that. 

"I love you too" he whispered back. He got off the bed and carried Louis to the bathroom, putting him down on the tub gently. He turned on the shower, making sure the water wouldn't burn or freeze the smaller boy and went back to the room to call the reception. A chambermaid came a few minutes later and changed the sheets before making the bed. Harry had gathered his dirty toys and put them back in his bag. A few minutes after she left, Louis came out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam. He was completely naked and drying his hair with the towel. His discomfort when walking was flagrant and Harry smiled smugly. Louis just let himself fall on the bed and pulled the covers over his body. He patted the side of the bed for Harry to come over. The younger lad was still up, frozen from Louis' divine apparition out of the bathroom. He just fucked him into oblivion and once again, just seeing him naked and wet a bit was making his dick harden in his pants. 

"Nah... Lou, I have to go. We don't know when they are gonna come back. It is pretty late now" Harry said reluctantly. Louis pouted for a second but then closed his eyes and fell asleep in an instant. Harry watched him with incredible wonder. This boy was the most precious thing he had. The most precious he ever saw. 

They began the tour in America and everything was going great. They managed to sneak around and fuck nearly every day and the few times they couldn't they still hanged out all day between practices and visiting the cities they were in. When they were in Florida, Harry told Louis that he wanted him to be with him all the time. They were pressed against each other in the closed jacuzzi where they had sneak in after hour. Louis took off one of his rings, the one that he grandma gave him when she died and told Harry to wear it on a necklace, so he would always be with him. What they weren't expecting though was for Eleanor to begin to suspect things. A few times, she saw weird bruises on Louis' body. He managed to pass them off as him bumping into things, or skating bruises from falls they sometimes had at practice but it was clear she was less and less duped. She also realised Louis had always his head in the clouds, especially when they were alone together. He was agitated, didn't pay attention to what she said, didn't seem to care about anything. In bed, he was less willing as well, often saying he was exhausted or not in the mood, whereas he always had had a huge libido before. She didn't suspect anything was going on with Harry, god she would never have. But she knew something was up. She became more clingy to Louis, trying to spend as much time as possible with him during the day. She seemed to be always there, at his side or in a corner and Louis and Harry couldn't meet secretly anymore. They couldn't sneak out to Harry's room for a quickie or even to the bathroom for a messy blowjob. She was always there. They hang out less, and Harry went back to his other friends in the tour while Louis was tied up with Eleanor. And since they couldn't fuck anymore and Harry saw Louis publicly affectionate to El, he went back to flirting with everyone and hooking up with the American guy and with random people along the path. Of course, Louis was desperately jealous and replied by snogging Eleanor more in front of Harry, or doing dirty jokes at lunch or just being more sexual in general. They both were jealous and tried to make the other one even more jealous. As a result, they both made each other miserable.

One afternoon while they were in Los Angeles, Eleanor finally left Louis alone and went shopping with a few girls from the show. Louis immediately called Harry and the young lad sneak in. They had rooms side by side with each others and Harry came from the balcony, smiling like an idiot. 

"So we are completely secret!" he whispered. "Nobody could see me come into your room"

"Yeah, except if they are outside" Louis responded quite hesitant. To him, if he was a witness, it was a lot weirder to see a guy hoping from one balcony to the next to get into someone else's room than to see some guy pass in the corridor visiting another guest. Harry just shrugged and kissed Louis, they fell into the bed messily. Louis was in the middle of fucking Harry when they heard the click of the door. Eleanor only had opened it halfway and was still in the corridor talking to someone. 

"Way ok ok... yes at 7. You tell her..." they didn't listen to the rest. Harry jumped out of the bed, rushed to the balcony and managed to jumped back to his own. He had left bare as a newborn and Louis was now alone in the messy sheets, cock still hard and all features clearly betraying his recent activity. When Eleanor came into the room, she just stopped at the sight and let her shopping bags fall on the floor. She rushed to the bathroom and switched on the light. Louis wondered what she was doing before he understood she was searching for someone that would be hidden in the room. She violently opened the cupboard then dropped on her knees to watch under the bed. Louis shook himself out of his stunned silence and shakily let out, 

"El, it... is not what you think" she screw her eyes at his words and he gulped "I was just... having a wank. I know that is stupid and very very embarrassing" he continued "but yeah, I thought you were gone for the whole afternoon..." he bit his lips, hoping his ridiculous lie would convince her. She frowned at him some more and then burst out laughing. 

"Oh my god... Lou, I am... so sorry" she breathed out between her giggles. "I wasn't expecting that... I didn't know you... did that" she wriggled her eyes brows.

"No... I don't, not like that" he panicked a bit seeing the really messy sheets and taking a glance at his sleeked up dick. Eleanor giggled again and began to crawl on the bed towards him. Louis tried to calm himself. he saw where it was going and he was surely going to have to finish himself off with El. She was watching him with amused but horny eyes. It didn't happen though. Her hand came in contact with pants under the sheets as she was slowly coming over Louis. And of course, these were not Louis' underwear. She took them and put them up in the light, watching at them incredulously. They were bright pink boxers with small cats on them, definitely not Louis' style. 

"Whose? Whose is that?" she asked in a flat voice. Louis could see on her face she was on the verve of snapping. He tried to think really quickly. Could he say he borrowed it from someone? But she was rummaging through the sheets and around the bed, soon finding the rest of Harry's clothes. His very small cutoffs and his baby blue t shirt and his unmissable checked shirt, that he wore open above everything. She was fixing the last item with, tears filling his eyes. 

"No! NO! Louis! Not.... not him! You are fucking with Harry!?" she was angry, panicked, begging, crushed all at the same time. She looked at him, shirt still in her hand mid-air. A few tears fell down her eyes. Louis bit his lips. He really didn't know what to do or say. "You...? Are you gay? Is it...? Is it a one time thing?" her voice was pleading him to say that yes it was a one time thing, it was a mistake. In fact it didn't happen and there was a perfect rational explanation. Louis said nothing. She watched him again for a second, turned around and ran out of the room, slamming the door. 

Eleanor needed air, she couldn't breath. She didn't understand what had happened. The datas had not sunk yet, she couldn't process what had happened, she couldn't even face it. She ran out to the liquor store and bought a Mars bar and a flask of Smirnoff that she downed in record time. Then she wondered around the hotel like a zombie, unable to settle on what she had to do. She was really lost for a reaction. She didn't know what to do. In her life where everything was set and scheduled, where Louis was just a given, her discovery kicked the hornet's nest. After a few hours of wandering, she went back to the hotel. She had no idea what time it was and her head was spinning with the vodka. She headed to the bar at the lobby and ordered margaritas after margaritas at the counter. The liquor made her head spin even more and forget, bringing her a bit of relief. After what felt like minutes, actually always the same minute, frozen forever, but it was probably hours, she saw a familiar face at the other end of the bar. _He_ was there. Harry Styles, sat at the counter, laughing out loud at some block's joke. And this other guy was all over him, palm on the small of his back and leaning over him to brush his lips against his ears. She saw red. Not only Harry Styles was he frolicking with her HUSBAND, he was also the dirtiest, most disgusting slut ever! She got up on cotton legs and shakily walked towards him. She had not realised how drunk she was and nearly fell down in the tropical plant that decorated the middle of the main room. She apologised messily to it and arrived just behind Harry and the man at the counter. She had no real plan, she just knocked on his shoulder, like in the movies. Maybe she was gonna kill him, that sounded just perfect. It was exactly what he deserved, she giggled drunkenly in spite of her crushed heart. Harry turned around in slow motion and smiled when he saw Eleanor. 

"El! What's up?" he asked nicely "you wanna join us? here is my friend..." he pointed at the other man and let him introduce himself.

"Bruce" the guy said and hold out his hand. Louise snorted, of course Harry didn't know this guy's name. That was so typical. Because he was a slut! A filthy, disgusting, arrogant, marriage breaking SLUT. She ignored the guy and whined back

"What's up _Hazza_? What is up?" she sounded absolutely smashed and Harry's eyes grew a bit darker with worry.

"El, you... alright?" he tried to pat her arm but she shrugged away.

"Don't touch me! You fucking slut" she hissed. Realisation hit Harry like a tidal wave. He leaned to tell something to the guy and he left, looking really confused.

"El, lets... lets get out, go somewhere to talk about that" he asked imploring. She laughed, throwing her head back. It wasn't a great idea, she felt light headed and nearly fell over. She grabbed Harry's shoulder to regain balance but she immediately jumped back like she burnt herself.

"No!" she yelled drunkenly. "We are gonna talk about it right here, right now! Not everything is to your convenience Sir Styles" she added nastily. 

He tried to grab her again to drag her to somewhere more private but she pushed him again. 

"You don't touch me, I said!" she screamed. "Only one of the spouse isn't enough for you?" she added and tears were going down her face. 

Patrons of the bar were definitely watching now, and Harry could recognise in horror that a few of them were skaters or crew from the Ice show tour. He desperately tried to grab her again and in his movement, the necklace with Louis' ring fell out of his shirt. Eleanor saw it immediately. She was drunk out of her mind, everything was blurry, she had no goddam idea of her surroundings but she could recognise Louis' granny ring anywhere. For fuck sake, she was there when she gave it to him, she was here during her last months at the hospital battling cancer, she was here at the funeral, she was here after that to comfort not only Louis but his mother and his sisters and everyone. She let out a desperate growl, like she was deadly wounded. More tears fell down her cheeks, she was sure snot was drooling as well.

"He gave you that?" she asked in a small defeated voice. "He gave it to you?" she yelled this time. "Harry, how could you? He is all I have. He is mine! MINE!" Harry sat back on his chair, defeated. That was a public humiliation for everyone involved. "You could fuck anyone you want. But you had to have him? And you don't even care! You fuck him and this John" she vaguely pointed at the direction of Bruce. "Do I have a MST Harry?" she suddenly asked. "Do I have to go get tested?" she roared again. "I love him!" her voice broke in the middle. Everyone was holding their breath, the bar was dead silent apart from Eleanor's shouts. "I love him and he loves me! And you don't even love him, you don't even care because you are a fucking SLUT! A disgusting, household breaker, cum-dumpster!" A few people hissed at the insult. Harry still wasn't doing anything. What was there to do? He had literally no idea of what to say. Finally he took a deep breath and just said, very low and very brokenly,

"I am going to leave now Eleanor" he went to get up but Eleanor all but jumped on him. She grabbed the hair at the back of his head and just smashed his face against the counter of the bar. With her other hand, she grasped the chain around his neck and violently pulled, breaking the necklace. The ring fell on the floor in slow motion. Harry certainly wasn't expecting that. His forehead crashed with the hard surface with a loud bang and a few people rushed towards them. Harry was definitely dizzy, seeing stars behind his eyes. Someone took Eleanor off him and straightened him back on his stool. He was carried away from the bar, still between consciousness and blackout and he woke up a few hours later in his hotel bed. Louise was asleep next to him and the clock indicated one o'clock. He was still disoriented, not sure of what happened and shook Louise awake.

"Hazza" his partner whispered "you alright babe" she caressed his forehead and Harry hissed. He just realised how much his head hurt. 

"I... what happened?" Harry asked in a small frightened voice. She looked at him for a long time, her eyes sad, reproaching. 

"You, you don't remember?" she asked carefully. He tried to concentrate and flash backs of memories came back. He and Eleanor were at the bar, she was shouting. She attacked him?! Oh... everything came rushing back and his face dropped. Louise nodded slowly. 

"Fuck Haz, how could you... how could you fuck up that much?" she asked in a small voice. Tears came to his eyes and he couldn't fight them. Yeah he had fucked up, everything was broken now. 

"What... happened after?" Harry breathed out. 

"People of the hotel took you out and they called a doctor. He said you were alright and that someone just had to sleep with you and wake you up every two hours to make sure you didn't have a concussion".

"And Eleanor?" he asked, not able to meet Louise' eyes.

"She... people calmed her down. They called Natalia and she came to take her. She puked everywhere and passed out."

"Louis?" Harry finally sobbed. 

"I... don't know. Natalia went to talk to him I think, but I don't know. I stayed there with you". Harry nodded, trying to calm his breathing and stop his sobs. "Harry, I don't understand" Louise said carefully. She pushed back a curl behind his ear in a tender gesture but her eyes were terribly sad, terribly upset as well. He had let her down. He had let everybody down. "Louis? Haz, why? He is married Harry, they are our friends. El, she is such a sweet girl. And they are our direct competitors, hell they are out team mates... what, what were you thinking I don't understand. Why?"

Harry shook his head desperately. "I don't know. I fucking don't know Lou" he sobbed harder. "I just couldn't stop. We couldn't stop. And I tried to go away. And he tried to resist too, I know. But nothing compares. I love him. I love him so much" he finished in a whisper and took his face in his palms. 

Louise stroked his back gently "oh Haz, baby" she whispered. He whined at the nickname. Louise was still so nice to him, so understanding in spite of his horrible horrible behaviour.

The next few days were an absolute nightmare. The whole cast of the show knew, Harry could hear all the whisper stop when he entered a room and then break out when he left. The press knew as well and sports and gossip sites were reporting on the drama between the two top teams. Figure skating fans had always been really fond of drama, unhealthy opposition, bitch fights. That was probably the biggest drama in recent years in the sport. It was the same level as the Kerrigan and Harding affair. They were contractually forced to finished the tour so all of them had to go on. They were checking in in different hotels and absolutely avoiding any contacts with each others though. Natalia had come the morning after the bar incident and told Louise and Harry that they would finish the tour, they had a bit more than one week left and then would sort everything out in England. Harry had absolutely no news from Louis. He didn't answer his messages, didn't look at him when they were together and the only moment they were at the same place was during the final number of the show, where all the skaters did a small choreo and saluted. From what he understood, Louis and Eleanor were still sharing a room, at whatever hotel they had checked in and they seemed linked at the hip everywhere they went. Harry avoided the internet and especially social media. He had checked once and could see that fans were portraying Eleanor as some kind of angel martyr while he was the horrible disgusting slut that seduced, nearly bewitched a married man. The worst treatment was for Louis though. The things people said about him made Harry want to throw up. And he knew he was guilty and Louis was guilty and what they had done was absolutely horrendous. But he still couldn't understand how people could talk about Louis like that. Louis was the sun. He was so sweet and so lovely and so caring and so perfect. Thinking about Louis for too long made him want to die. His breathing was coming in heavy, painful pants, he could feel a stab in his guts. And that wasn't a metaphor, the pain was real. He could feel the blade sink into his stomach and cut through the flesh. So he tried not to think about Louis. Or think about him just a few seconds at a time, so it didn't hurt too much. 

 

They were back in England and at the Dome. Harry and Louise were fidgeting on their chairs in Natalia' office on the second floor. It was the first time they came there. They didn't even know Natalia had an office at the Dome. That was so surreal. They had no illusion, they knew their future was gonna be decided there, in a few minutes. The coach entered the room finally, holding in her hand her perpetual cup of Black Russian tea from the Black sea. She nodded at them, there was none of her motherly behaviour today. He took her seat facing them. 

"So, I have taken a decision. After what happened, it is clear I can't continue to train both of your teams". She stopped for a second, let it sink. "For me, it was a very easy decision. I have coached Louis and Eleanor since they are babies, I am sticking with them." Blood rushed to Harry's ears and he could hear the strident noise of it flooding in his veins. "Louis made very serious mistakes, as you know" she looked at Harry coolly. "But they thought very hard about it and decided to stick together both for the skating as well as in their personal lives. They are working very hard to rebuild their relationship and I am a 100% behind them". She stopped for a moment and watched the two young skaters carefully. "Harry, I am not putting the blame on you. I know Louis and you are equally to blame for this affair. But you understand I can't keep you here. It would strain even more on my skaters' relationship and we couldn't work together. The work environment just couldn't work. You know that right?" Harry nodded twice, on the verve of tears. She turned around to Louise. As for you Louise, you are an incredible skater and I would like to keep you. It is your decision to make and you have to think very carefully about it. You can have some time to think and tell me in a few days. One of my junior teams split and the guy is in search of a new partner. He is insanely good, really and he is just one year younger than Harry. It would be his first year in seniors but I am positive that if you paired up now, even your first season would be successful. You would be absolutely perfect for each other. As you know, this year is extremely important. It is Olympic season so changing a partner now is risky, especially now that you are already world champions together with Harry. But I can promise you that your pair with this other skater would be as successful. Clearly, you are already successful with Harry."

Harry had stopped listening. Natalia was banning him. But only him, she wanted to keep Louise and pair him with someone else. He let his head fall down and watched his hands fisted around each others. A few tears dropped on them. 

"So it is either you stay with me and you have this new partner and we work hard to get you on the podium at the Olympics, even possibly Olympic Champions. Either you stay with Harry and have to find a new coach, new home rink, new choreographers etc. I will be honest with you, you probably won't have that much trouble finding all these since you are world champions. And you probably have a shot at the title if you stay together as well. But getting used to a new city, new coach, new training technique is always a bit difficult." Louise was shaking besides Harry, he could feel her. "You think about it and you tell me in a few days, maybe two weeks maximum. We can organise a practice with Jack, the other skater, to see if you click". Louise nodded carefully and quickly wiped a few tears. They left the office soon after, Harry was completely dumbfounded. 

Louise chose to team up with the new younger skater. She wasn't ready to move again, the new partner was exceptionally good and their team worked perfectly. After only two hours of practice, they looked like they had skated together for ten years. Besides, Natalia was probably the best coach out there and was multiplying her chances to become Olympic champion. When she announced it to Harry, he was beyond crushed. But he understood. It was her career, it was her life, she had to choose the best for herself. He was the one to blame for everything, he was the one that fucked up. He looked for a partner for a month and found a good pair skater from Germany that was more than willing to team up. Heart-broken and defeated, he left for Berlin and began to train alongside the German number 1 couple, that was also a very serious contender for the Olympic title. The partnership worked for a few weeks but soon, Harry saw that the girl wasn't good enough. She was good, yeah, but not great, too limited technically. She could match him in the future, but they would need at least a couple of years and the Olympics were this season, they had no time. Besides, the atmosphere in their training team was just awful. Every other skater and even some of their coaches were really rude to him, clearly showing their disgust in what he had done. After a month in Berlin he quit and went back to trying to find a partner. A coach at the rink in Canton, Michigan in the US, contacted him and asked him to come and try out with a few of their skaters. Canton had become one of the best training facilities in figure skating in recent years and Harry flew there with high hopes. The trials he had with a few partners weren't really conclusive but he decided to stay in Canton anyways. He had more chances to find someone here than anywhere else and could still train on his own, using the awesome coaches and facilities as well as being in contact with a few of the world's best choreographers.

They were in June and Harry still didn't have a partner. It was getting very worrying. But Harry didn't even care that much. His mind was completely obsessed with Louis, with the ache of missing Louis. With what Louise had told him just before he left for Berlin. Louis had promised to Eleanor that it was a mistake, that he loved her and only her and that he would never see Harry ever again. And that hurt so much because Harry knew it was a mistake and it was bad because they hurt Eleanor and they hurt a lot of people. But it was not a mistake for him in the sense that he didn't regret loving Louis. Loving Louis was the best thing that ever happened to him. He was still wearing the ring, that he had managed to pick up on the floor when Eleanor had knocked him over on the counter. He didn't remember how he took it back, like he didn't really remember much of that night. But the presence of the ring against his chest still soothed him, no matter how pathetic it sounded. In mid June, Harry was contacted by Louise again. She explained to him that she thought their split was a mistake. She wanted them to team up again if Harry was up for it. He accepted in a heartbeat and Louise was off to the USA within two weeks. They would sort their visas and everything with the help of the rink later. 

"So you are going back to find him?" Eleanor whispered defeated. She was facing Louise, who had just told them of her decision to go back to team up with Harry. 

"El... I am sorry. You know I really love you and I consider you as one of my best friends" the young woman replied "but it my career. It is my shot at the Olympics. I personally have no beef with Harry. I clearly don't support his actions and I hate that he did that to you... but he is my partner and our pair works". Eleanor hugged her, she understood. She knew how much her Olympic dream meant to her. It was easy because it meant just as much to herself.

Since they were officially paired too late, Harry and Louise missed the deadline for the assignments of the grand prix events. They wouldn't be able to compete before the Nationals. It meant they only had two competitions, the nationals and the Europeans, to prepare before the Olympics in Sochi. That wasn't ideal of course, but they had pretty much gone to hell and back, so that wasn't that much of a catastrophe. It also gave them more time to prepare their programs and to concentrate only on their bigger goals this season, which finally wasn't that bad. Besides, they would need all the extra time they could get, because the other couples had nearly all finished to choreograph their programs at the time they began to look for musics. They settled on Carmina Burana for their shorts. That was a powerful and daunting piece that could really put forwards their power on the ice and their strong elements like the lifts and throw jumps. For the free, they chose Rock around the clock. It suited their speed on the ice and they could be playful. It was also a strategic choice. They were both quite energetic and outgoing, they wouldn't have to work a lot on the interpretation. That was quite an easy piece to portray for them so they wouldn't lose too much time working on the interpretation and could concentrate on the elements and the choreography. From the ISU publications, they knew that Louis and Eleanor were skating to the Man in the iron mask for the short and Vivaldi's 4 seasons for the free. It was quite interesting because both their shorts would probably quite similar, with really big, dramatic themes. On the contrary, their frees couldn't be more different between their fun and carefree rock and what surely promised to be a tormented and impeccably heartbreaking portray of the Vivaldi piece. 

Summer was spent sweating and trying and falling and pushing the boundaries further and further to get their program ready. The stab in Harry's guts didn't stop. The pain didn't diminish at all, still there all the time. Harry learnt to live with it but sometimes, when he was alone as his place, it was just too overwhelming and he had to hunch back on himself and take a one hour long shower before going to the first gay bar he found, picking up anybody willing and let them fuck him roughly. It wasn't satisfying and he felt awful afterwards each time. But he needed that, that's what he deserved, he was just a disgusting slut. 

Louis and Eleanor won all of their Grand Prix events and the final of the Grand Prix easily. Harry watched them on TV and it was the first time in a few months that he saw Louis. Louis in action being wonderful. Louis smiling in the kiss and cry. Louis clinging to Eleanor's hand. Nothing seemed to be off with them, they skated as good as ever and they looked exactly the same off the ice. They were back to being the Figure skating world sweethearts, as if the Harry Styles parenthesis never happened. Harry grabbed the ring on his neck and clang to it during all the programs. Whatever they said, whatever they pretended, Louis had been his, hell Louis was still his and would always be. After each of their performance, he wanked fast and dirty to the replays of Louis' body in slow motion.

Harry and Eleanor won their first competition easily. It was the Nationals and Louis and Eleanor had pulled out, knowing they were already selected for the Olympics anyways. It left the Europeans to be their only confrontation before the Olys. When they arrived in Prague, where the tournament was held this year, they could feel the excitement everywhere. Sure, every Olympic year was more stressful and people were buzzing even more than the other years. But this time it was different, people were waiting for the showdown. They were hungry for drama again. That was the first time since the cheating scandal that both pairs were gonna meet again. Of course, since they were on top of the world ranking, they had the same practice hours and were gonna skate their short program in the same group. It meant that they couldn't avoid each other anymore. Practices went in a blur and they didn't cross eyes once. The press kept pressuring for comments and they kept telling them that they only talked about skating and nothing else. During the short program, both teams skated perfectly and Louis and Eleanor were in the lead with less than a point blanket. The four other leading teams were all within 5 points of them. It meant that every team from the 1st to the 7th place had a serious shot at the gold. Everything was going to be decided in the free.

It was the fateful day and Harry was smoking outside. He knew it was not even an hour before his performance but he couldn't help it. He ignored the shocked stares of some officials or facility staff that were having a fag as well. He perfectly knew he shouldn't smoke just before performing an exhausting 4 and a half minute long program in an international competition that would require his complete and utter physical involvement. But yeah... fuck that. When he went back inside, he found himself face to face with Louis. They literally were inches away from each other. And there was no trace of Eleanor or Natalia or any other of his guard dogs that seemed to be attached at his hip anywhere he went. They locked eyes. It didn't happen for 10 months, they had not looked at each other's eyes in ten months. And Harry wanted to cry because those eyes were the exact same. Still perfect glacier blue, still perfect and piercing and beautiful and so so soft. Louis let out a desperate groan from the back of his throat and Harry switched to autopilot. He grabbed Louis by the arm, pulled him towards him and crashed their lips together. He just couldn't let go. Louis was moaning and whining and rutting in his embrace and Harry lifted him off the ground, opened the first door he found on the corridor -which happened to be a storage closet for the cleaner's supplies. Harry pushed Louis against the wall and rutted against him. He could feel his legs circling his waist and his heels sinking on the small of his back, just above the swell of his ass. 

"Harry! Hazza!" Louis let out in a broken voice "my baby" and Harry thought he was gonna come right there. He was more turned on that he had been in 10 months. He rutted against Louis again, and sank his teeth into the side of his neck without even thinking. Louis pushed against his mouth, as if to tell him to mark him more, to suck and bite harder on the skin and he did. One minute later they were both coming in their joggers and after a few seconds, Harry put Louis reluctantly on the floor. But he was still lying against him, crushing him to the wall to prevent him from leaving, from getting away again. He would never let him go away again. 

"Fucking hell Haz" Louis whispered. "The love bite fuck" he didn't sound angry. He was just sad, maybe a bit resigned. They understood now in this dirty closet that whatever they did, no matter how hard they tried, they would always come back to each other. They were Louis and Harry and they had no other way. Louis left the closet first and Harry a few minutes after him. No one saw anything. Louis managed to hide the hickey with foundation before Eleanor or anyone could see it really. He just pretended everything was ok, everything was perfect, and it took him way back, to the firsts months they had spent together at the dome, when Louis pretended nothing was happening. They skated their Vivaldi program brilliantly and only had to wait for the results of others since they had skated first of the last group. Louis and Eleanor were sitting next to each other backstage, just silently watching the monitor and holding hands. Louis knew Eleanor thought they were gonna win. It really would need something special from any of the other couples to beat them. But he didn't even care that much. He just wanted to see Harry skate. His beautiful boy. At one moment, Eleanor lovingly passed her thumb on Louis' cheek, taking off a small plush there. She let her thumb wander further down and frowned.

"are... are you wearing make up love?" she asked bemused. 

"yeah, a bit of foundation, for TV you know" Louis said slowly, casually. A bit too casually. Eleanor frowned further and screwed her eyes, she thumbed again at the foundation, swiping it off from Louis' skin. The purple mark appeared in all its glory. Louis bit his lips. Eleanor jolted up and slapped him with all her strength across the face. Louis head was thrown to the side with the impact. On the screen, Harry and Louise were getting their notes after their perfect program. They were behind by two points. Neither Eleanor nor Louis paid attention. They had beaten them and were with no doubt European champions again. And it wasn't of any importance right now. Eleanor cried on the podium but managed to pass it off for joy and relief tears. She also weakly shook hands with Harry and the whole rink gasped. She wouldn't let them have their scandal.  
Back at their hotel she let out between her teeth that she would skate with Louis at the Olympics and that after that they were splitting up. She wanted a divorce. Louis didn't say anything. He didn't want that. He didn't want to split up, he didn't want a divorce. He wanted to stay with Eleanor like they always had been. He still loved her. Would love her forever. But he just couldn't stop with Harry. He knew that wasn't an acceptable explanation so he didn't say anything. He let Harry fuck him that night and the rest of the week. Usually they would take turns, but this time, Louis just needed Harry to take care of him. Always. To dominate him. To make him feel special and loved. 

A month later they were at the Olympics. Louis and Harry had stayed in contact despite their separation. It was a frenzy of texting and emails and facetime. They were gauging on each other's presence, exactly like when they were still physically together. Eleanor and Louis were sleeping in separate rooms, talking to each other only at practice and when it was strictly necessary. Their connexion on the ice was suffering of course, but their synch was still perfect, thanks to all those years of skating together. Besides, theirs programs had gained in intensity. Both of their desperation poured out of their every turns and it gave an edge and a fascinating side to it that wasn't there before. Natalia wasn't talking to Louis either and made it pretty clear their relationship was only professional now. That was what hurt the most maybe. It really was like he had lost his mother. Harry and Louise won the short program by a hair's breadth. Both of their programs were exquisite but the judges had decided in their favour. Louis threw everything in the free. It was the last time he would skate with Eleanor. It was his shot at his ultimate goal. They equalled their world record and just had to wait anxiously for Harry and Louise's results who were skating last. Eleanor was sitting next to him, staring at the monitor. She was so close but at the same time so far away. They watched their rivals skate on the screen in complete silence. Louis knew the program by heart. He had watched it so many times on youtube that he was sure he knew it maybe even better than his own. Harry was mesmerising. They were light and happy and sexy and daring, presenting the complete opposite to the passionate and heavy program that he presented with El. When they stopped to take their final bow, Louis shut his eyes tight. He didn't need to see the scores. He knew he had lost. His wonder boy had it. Harry and Louise were the Olympic champs. Marks came in a thunderous applause and he opened his eyes again to see Harry jumped off the bench and Louise break down in tears. They were hugging each other, their coach, their choreographers, the flower girls that brought them the gifts thrown on the ice by fans. Eleanor sank down on her seat and took and her face in her hand. Louis could hear her heartbreaking sobs. 

They pretended through the podium ceremony and the press conference and the endless interviews. They endured the God save the Queen again. Eleanor looked like a broken doll at Louis' side and he wanted to hug her and protect her from all the bad in this world, take away all of her pain. He wanted to protect her from himself. When Harry brought his gold medal to his lips and kissed it for the flashes, Louis saw that he had brought the ring of his necklace as well to his lips and was kissing them both at the same time. He smiled bright and true for the first time since they heard the scores and his eyes met with a flash of green eyes. Green beautiful wonderful eyes. 

That night, Louis heard a small knock on his door and jolted out of bed. But his brain instantly sank down. It wasn't Harry's knock. He went to open the door slowly and was faced with Eleanor. She looked distraught. Her eyes were rimmed red. She looked so small and so fragile Louis wanted to die this instant. 

"Can I come in?" her voice was soft. She wasn't angry. He launched himself towards her in a impulsion and they hugged desperately for a few minutes. They both cried quietly into each other's neck.  
"Lou, what... what does he have that I don't have" El cried out. "Why can't you love me? I love you. I love you so much. I would do anything for you. You can ask me anything, I'll do it. Please don't leave me. Please, I... I can't do it without you. You are my everything. And I was yours too. You..." she had to stop to let out a painful sob. "you loved me didn't you? You... maybe you can love me again. I'll do anything. I'll be anything that you want". 

Louis cried harder. "El, I... I know you won't believe me but I love you. I still love you like crazy. The same than ever. I don't know what it is with Harry. I just can't control it. i can't help it. I wish. And it is killing me that I make you suffer so much. I feel miserable and I want to die but... I can't stop". 

She was frantic now, mad with pain and desperation. "You told me you loved me. When we got married. You told me. You told me so many times that you would protect me. That you would never hurt me. And I believed you. I just don't understand how you could do that to me when... you know me. You know everything about me. I gave you everything. I have no secret for you. And you still did that. You... I don't get it. And I love you so much but I am not enough. I don't understand".

"El baby" Louis whined "I don't know. I can't explain it, Harry is just. It is just i am possessed when I am with him". He was pathetic.

"Harry, Harry. This fucking slut. He doesn't care about you Louis. He doesn't love you like I do. He sleeps around with everyone. Do you know how many people he fucks besides you, he is just a dirty whore!" she shouted. Louis grunted.

"Don't say that El". He couldn't stand the fact she was talking about Harry like that. His Harry. His beautiful beautiful boy.

"Yes, I will say it. Because someone needs to tell you Louis! Someone needs to open you eyes, he is just a dirty, worthless slut!" her voice was shaking with rage. Louis could not stand it, he didn't even think about it, it was a visceral reaction. He slapped her hard across the face and she fell down on the bed. "Don't talk about him like that" he repeated coolly. Eleanor stayed on the bed, holding her cheek and crying her eyes out. 

Finally Louis and Eleanor stayed together both as a couple and as a pair. They made each other miserable but they just couldn't break up. Neither of them could do it. Staying together as a team was also their only shot at the Olympic gold, their ultimate grail. They had decided to keep skating for another four years to try again in Pyongyang in 2018. They were still young, they were still at the top of the world. Natalia watched powerless this couple that she had practically raised, that she had seen grow, that she considered like her own children tearing each other apart at the same time as they made each other alive. As for Louis and Harry, the affair continued. They kept their long distance relationship and fucked each other at every occasion possible. Their weird love triangle kept the figure skating world entertained. Everyone still talked about them and their personal lives more than about their skating, that was truly exquisite. Everyone was picking sides, everyone felt either sad or disgusted or amused by them. Harry that had hoped Louis and Eleanor would finally break up, felt the stab in his guts come back when he understood they would never. That he would always be on the side. He slept around more than ever to sooth the pain and consequently made Louis die with jealousy as well. All three of them were losers in this story and their was no way out. 

The year after the Olympics, Louis and Eleanor recaptured their world title with a breathtaking performance on a medley of Charlie Chaplin musics. Harry and Louise had picked the strategy of pushing forward their incredible sensuality. They had come with a Carmen program. But that wasn't your average Carmen program. This one was just pure sex. It was mesmerizing and Louis wanked to it more than he had jerked off to any porn in his life. This wasn't enough though and they came second. The next year, they won back though, skating for the first time on a very emotional and calmer Adagio. They beat the fun and daring Adams Family program of Louis and Eleanor. The year after that, both teams skating on really classical and romantic themes. Eleanor and Louis on the Rachmaninoff piano concerto 2, Harry and Louise on a nocturne by Chopin. This time the firsts won. It was like a game with the judges. Like they just decided to exchange their positions every year, giving the edge to one team or the other. During the three seasons they just traded 1st and 2nd place and crushed all the rest of the field. It was only them four on top of the world and them three locked into a destructive passion. It got even worst when the Dome closed for renovation. Natalia and her skaters relocated in Detroit, Michigan, the biggest skating facility in the world. And of course Detroit and Canton were in the same state and 30 minutes from each other. 

 

That was it, they were alone facing their destiny. Louis and Eleanor were leading after the short program. But the gap was so small that once again, whoever won the free won the gold. Louis was ready. He had trained all his life for this moment. It was his gold medal. It was his moment. They skated their program on Beethoven's moonlight sonata in a deathly hush. You could only hear the notes of the music and squeaking of the blades on the ice. Louis was serene during the whole performance. He had been ready for this all his life. They got their marks and went backstage. He was just flying. He didn't watch Harry and Louise skating last on their Requiem program. He didn't watch their beautiful lines and bewitching moves. He didn't need too. He saw it all in his head. Harry was jumping and spinning and smiling in his head. When they beat them by 5 tenth of a point he didn't flinch. He was still very very high above everything. Or maybe very very low, buried into the centre of the earth. He was not Olympic champion and would never be. He had lost again. Lost to Harry. His beautiful boy had won again, preventing him of his ultimate dream. And he didn't even care. All this was behind him now. He just needed to sleep. Maybe forever. 

Eleanor's response to their silver medal was really different. She completely lost it and heart-broken at the press conference, she spilled it all. She unloaded all these years of pain and frustration and waste. She was done with Louis this time. She dumped him publicly like the pathetic shit he was. Louis didn't care. He didn't care about anything now. Only Harry. Harry was there and he wanted Louis and he kissed him and he stroked his sides. But he went on to perform shows all over the globe. He was a two times Olympic champion, everyone wanted a piece of him. Since they had split up, there was no show for Louis and Eleanor. From Britain's sweetheart a few years ago, Louis had now become the Public enemy number one. He was the cheating asshole, the married man that couldn't keep it in his pants and loved to take it up the ass. He was the fool that lost twice at the Olympics. A professional skating troop called Modest! approached him. Admittedly he was all these things but he was also internationally famous. And one of the most successful skater in history. Louis sat in the office at the Modest! head quarters, his lemon tea getting cold at his side. He was listening to this marketing manager that was telling him just how successful he could be. He had the fame, he had the charisma, he had the reputation. 

"Everything is in your hands now Louis." she repeated. "People like drama. And they like when people make mistakes and bounce back. They like big apologies. It is like a Roman circus Louis. The ultimate show, watching people fail and come back stronger. You are seen as an asshole right now, people love hating on you. But people loved you before. It can come back. Let us organise a big public repentance. We can organise a big international press conference and you will say sorry, you will say you regret everything and you will redeem yourself, make amend. Become once again the loveable guy that you were before. Even more loveable because you were human and made mistakes."

Louis wasn't convinced. He just wanted to sleep again. Forever. 

"Louis you are a fantastic skater, a world champion, a three time Olympic medalist. You have a bright future, you could have an amazing career if you want to. You made all the bad decisions before, make the good one now.' She said softly. They locked eyes and Louis nodded once before singing the contract.

It was a month after the Olympics. Louis went to the airport to pick Harry up. On the way to his place, Louis explained everything. He explained the contract and the press conference and everything. He explained they had to stop. That he couldn't do it anymore. That he wanted it to stop. 

"Louis, what the fuck" Harry screamed they were parked in front of Harry's house in the suburb of Detroit. "You... you can't do that. You don't need this contract! We were miserable all those years because we couldn't be together. Now we can. I love you, you love me. We have a shot at happiness. We are gonna make it work. We are made for each other. You can't run away now that we can be happy!" his tone was hysterical.

Louis was very calm. "No Harry, you don't understand. It is not only the contract. And even if it were you can't understand with your two Olympic golds."

"I don't care about my Olympic golds Louis" Harry spat out. "I want you! I have always wanted you. We can have each other now!"

Louis let out a joyless, defeated laugh. Of course Harry didn't care about his titles. Of course. Louis would give up everything for them, but Harry didn't fucking care. 

"I want to stop. I can't do it anymore. We are done" Louis whispered

"You are a fucking coward" Harry screamed, tears running down his face "you are scared to be happy, you like to be miserable, you are a fucking coward"

"We are done" Louis repeated quietly "I am done. Get out of the car."

"No!" Harry shouted "No! I won't let you waste everything. NO!" 

"Get out!" Louis shouted back. Harry didn't move. Louis took his seatbelt off and jumped out of the car. He jogged around it and opened Harry's door, took his seatbelt off and dragged him out. They were fighting on the side-walk now. Harry was trying to grab Louis, trying to hug him. Louis pushed him on the floor and Harry clang at legs. He wouldn't let go for his life.

"Fuck you" Louis screamed like a mad man. He kicked Harry in the stomach and harry clang even harder. "Fuck you!" He kicked him again and Harry whined in pain, finally letting go. Louis run back to his seat and drove off, letting the younger man laying down on the pavement. The stabbing in his guts was stronger than ever and Harry just sobbed on the floor. Defeated and broken. 

 

Louis was sitting in the room for the press conference. Everything was arranged. All the journalist knew what he was going to say already. They had submitted their question beforehand and he had learnt his answers by heart. Now he just had to play his role. The role of his life, an Oscar worthy performance surely. Then the journalists would play their part and write the epic story of his repentance. He began his speech in front of the crowd. He said he was sorry. He asked for forgiveness to Eleanor, to Natalia, to his federation, to his fans, to the entire world.

"Let me in!" Harry was in tears, looking absolutely awful. He was begging the doorman to let him enter the room for the press conference. He had to stop Louis, he had to prevent him to do that. They still could be together, they still could be happy. "you have to let me in, please, i beg you please" he chanted pathetically. The doorman looked absolutely crushed but said no. He let him go to another room though. where he could watch the conference on a small black and white monitor. But Harry was blind and death, his Louis was sat at the table in front of his jurors and was putting all of their story behind forever. He was calmed and poised and stamping on Harry's heart for one last time. Harry sobbed louder. That was it. That was the end. 

After his speech, it was questions time. After a few of them, one journalist asked "If you had the power now to go back in time, would you change anything? Would you do anything differently?" Louis knew what he had to answer. This press conference, like his entire life was a masquerade, a big, fat, terrible joke. He had to say that of course he would do everything differently. He wouldn't let himself be dragged in a sordid affair without any future and that would hurt everyone he had ever cared for. It was a mistake and he would never do it again. 

He lowered his head, feeling the painful sobs growing bigger and bigger in the back of his throat. He had been so stupid. This affair had made him lose everything. Harry had made him lose everything. Harry had crushed his marriage, made him lose him wife and best friend, his coach, his fans, his reputation, his dignity. Made him lose himself. Harry had denied him his dream of Olympic gold. Twice. The thing he had trained for those 24 years. The thing he thought about every single day since he had started skating at the Doncaster dome with pads on his knees and a helmet on his head. How could he have been so stupid, so mistaken. So fucking ridiculous?

He closed his eyes in defeat. And it was there, burnt into his soul, imprinted on his retina behind his closed eyelids. Green eyes. Green eyes with a bit of brown around the pupil. Green eyes with a cheeky, provocative expression. And they were smiling. Louis could tell even without seeing the rest of the face. And they were shining like diamonds in the dark void of is soul. He opened his eyes again and they were dry. He had shed all his tears, he had no more. 

He locked eyes with the journalist. He had green eyes as well. But they didn't compare. Nothing compared. 

"Would you change anything Louis?" the reporter repeated. 

Louis straightened up on his chair. Medals, money, career, public, dignity, _everything_ be damned. 

"No. No I wouldn't".

**Author's Note:**

> So in real life after Olys in 98 where Grishuk/Platov won their second gold, the teams switched partners and Maya skated with Evgeny while Pasha skated with Sacha. They skated together for like 2 years in the pro circuit and then stopped. Here is a good trashy fluff from some American tv explaining the story a bit [ http://youtu.be/j9iGnlrz5Us ](http://youtu.be/j9iGnlrz5Us)  
> Grishuk and Zhulin broke up at some point and now they are all married/divorced with some other people and all coaching either in Russia or the States. Grishuk and Platov always stayed friendly and even skated together again at some point for shows. 
> 
> I did a sort of biblio with the vids of the programs that inspired me for this story. Most of them are not actual programs performed by Usova/Zhulin or Grishuk/Platov but some of them are.  
> \- The blues for klook by Usova/Zhulin [ http://youtu.be/AxseLaxl61s](http://youtu.be/AxseLaxl61s)  
> Same music for Daisuke Takahashi. He is a single skater but this routine is SEX [ http://youtu.be/yOlXuWQzYL4](http://youtu.be/yOlXuWQzYL4)  
> \- Swan Lake routine by Tanya Volosozhar/Maxim Trankov [ http://youtu.be/9RZLan_dp80](http://youtu.be/9RZLan_dp80)  
> Swan Lake by ice dancers Elena Ilinykh/Nikita Katsalapov [ http://youtu.be/y1Zu4ZKruzw](http://youtu.be/y1Zu4ZKruzw)  
> \- Masquerade Waltz by Tatiana/Maxim [ http://youtu.be/PByi6Ew5a2Y](http://youtu.be/PByi6Ew5a2Y)  
> \- Bring me to life by Tatiana/Max, it is also the routine where they fell on the death spiral :/ [ http://youtu.be/BpkozDciJNk](http://youtu.be/BpkozDciJNk)  
> \- Carmen by ice dancers Tessa Virtue/Scott Moir [ http://youtu.be/o1Oa39Uojj0](http://youtu.be/o1Oa39Uojj0)  
> \- Rachmaninov piano concerto n.2 by Natalia Mishkutenok/Arthur Dmitriev [ http://youtu.be/gNDqZuQVcQg](http://youtu.be/gNDqZuQVcQg)  
> Same music for Mao Asada (single skater but probs best program ever) [ http://youtu.be/S_FDAEKGgLs ](http://youtu.be/S_FDAEKGgLs%20)  
> for those in Canada or using hola, watch this olys perf, better overall in spite of horrendous commentators [ http://youtu.be/nr-V2dqEaQQ](http://youtu.be/nr-V2dqEaQQ)  
> \- Grishuk/Platov Rock around the clock Olympic program [ http://youtu.be/27cZ4wx8470](http://youtu.be/27cZ4wx8470)  
> \- Usova/Zhulin 4 seasons by Vivaldi [ http://youtu.be/NnmMPaZhzTc](http://youtu.be/NnmMPaZhzTc)  
> \- Grishuk/Platov Requiem Olympic program <http://youtu.be/oCE1TwOjv3k>  
> \- Adagio by Xue Shen/ Hongbo Zhao [ http://youtu.be/VfJpxLN-hN0](http://youtu.be/VfJpxLN-hN0)  
> \- Charlie Chaplin program by Elena Berezhnaya/Anton Sikharulidze [ http://youtu.be/eLpXj6PD9HE](http://youtu.be/eLpXj6PD9HE)  
> \- Addams Family routine Ksenia Stolbova/Fedor Klimov [ http://youtu.be/NU-KfPZOUsk](http://youtu.be/NU-KfPZOUsk)  
> \- Moonlight Sonata Elena Gordeeva/Sergei Grinkov [ http://youtu.be/pY7HFPSmx8M](http://youtu.be/pY7HFPSmx8M)  
> \- Carmina Burana by ice dancers Marina Anissina/ Gwendal Peizerat [ http://youtu.be/fm18VlVQR2g](http://youtu.be/fm18VlVQR2g)  
> \- The man in the iron mask Marina/Gwendal [ http://youtu.be/T4CjtGj-CLI](http://youtu.be/T4CjtGj-CLI)  
> \- Chopin nocturne op 9 n.2 Mao Asada <http://youtu.be/xm9F-lSuArQ>  
> 
> 
> Here are different technical elements for those who are not too familiar with figure skating:  
> jumps [ http://youtu.be/apLyYIrbRpE ](http://youtu.be/apLyYIrbRpE)  
> spins (only beginning of the video) [ http://youtu.be/10-G4IcK1BA ](http://youtu.be/10-G4IcK1BA)  
> pair spins [ http://youtu.be/rkvCqgvrFiw](http://youtu.be/rkvCqgvrFiw)  
> death spirals [ http://youtu.be/H3T5A4WsWCQ ](http://youtu.be/H3T5A4WsWCQ)  
> throw jumps [ http://youtu.be/7nGZ4BlX0MI ](http://youtu.be/7nGZ4BlX0MI) (here triple loop)  
>               [ http://youtu.be/f1-q69gMo48 ](http://youtu.be/f1-q69gMo48%20) (triple salchow)  
>               [ http://youtu.be/AzM4LM8NsbY ](http://youtu.be/AzM4LM8NsbY%20) (triple axel!!!!)  
> throw twist [http://youtu.be/MWOgZKIWSJw ](http://youtu.be/MWOgZKIWSJw%22)  
> lifts [ http://youtu.be/qrtCPuKfgXw ](http://youtu.be/qrtCPuKfgXw%22) this vid is in Japanese and mixes pairs and ice dance lifts (ice dance lifts are not over the head) but it gives an idea of the different lifts you can do.  
> I am sorry for the bad quality of most of these vids but FS tutorials on youtube suck balls!


End file.
